The Magic of Forgiveness
by TheSecretWriter-1234
Summary: Neoma Blackfeather was tortured by Paul Lahote, her bully from hell, every day of her life. Until she moves away after a suicide attempt.She comes back three years later to La push to visit her caring&spiritual grandparents. But lots have changed about herself.Will her hate for Paul conflict with the fact Paul had imprinted on her? Can she forgive the boy that ruined her life?
1. Returning to my Past

**All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**The characters and events in this story are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. No part of this fiction may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the author's prior approval.**

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"_Burn it down  
till the embers smoke on the ground__  
__And start new  
when your heart is an empty room__  
__With walls of the deepest blue__  
__Home's face  
How it ages when you're away"_

_"Death Cab for Cutie- Your heart is an Empty room"_

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_Summary:_

_Neoma Blackfeather was tortured by her bully from hell, Paul Lahote, every day of her life. Until she moves away after a suicide attempt. She comes back three years later to La push to visit her caring and spiritual grandparents. But lots have changed about herself, or at least she hopes. Will her new temper and hate for Paul conflict with the fact Paul had imprinted on her. The girl that's life was ruined by him? Rated M for future Lemons. Paul x OC. _

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Chapter 1: Returning to My Past

It's been three years since I've been home. If you could even call it that, seeing as I had abandoned La Push as my home. The very thought of this place made my stomach rip it's self apart and my heart thump in my chest like crazy. Every bit of my being refused to remember this place let alone be here.

All because of an ass named Paul Lahote.

I looked out the car as the cab drove up the beach which was close to my grandma's house. I don't remember there being too much sun here. But today it was brighter than normal. The rays of light would be covered by clouds soon. But for now, I leaned my head on the window soaking up the sun rays. Maybe that was a good sign. Even the people seemed happy, but that was normal. La push was a cheery, cozy place 24/7.

La push was also a spiritual place, the legends that they passed down. The stories they told the children, although some of those where to keep the children out of bad behavior. Like the story of the Dassk'iya or "basket woman" my grandmother used to tell me. A woman who kidnapped bad kids carried them off in her basket where she ate them in here little creepy house. The same story that scared her into good behavior when she was a little girl.

But as you grow up, those stories don't affect you. Kids get meaner, they start to care about being the prettiest or the most popular. All the life and magic is gone, materialism and popularity takes place. We grow into mean and nasty creatures, and they send us off to what I call the hell, school. I remembered school in La push so clearly it stung.

* * *

_The bell rang letting me know that I was free of this hell. I had gone a day with successfully avoiding the devil himself, Paul Lahote. Except for in class because well I couldn't ditch, I wasn't that kind of girl who could actually get away with ditching. But Paul couldn't torment me that bad with a teacher in the room, the worse he could do was throw spitballs at me silently._

_At lunch I had avoided him by staying in the art room, I did this most every day. The art teacher lets me stay as long as I do something productive, I don't mind seeing as I love to draw. He says I have talent, I say I'm just bored._

_I opened my locker swiftly sliding all my book into my backpack before shutting it and practically running off. When I'm not being bullied by Paul, I'm invisible. Nobody probably knows that my name is Neoma. Not that I care, I wasn't too fond of my name. Neoma Blackfeather. It's the darkest name I could think off._

_Neoma means darkness, and Blackfeather well it sounds like my ancestors are witches or crows. My mother said she named me it because my eyes were so big and it wasn't the dark brown like most of the people, my eyes looked pitch black. Like I had no pupil but that wasn't the abnormal part they were big, like abnormally big. Some people say there beautiful but I say there different. My eyes didn't look Native American they looked.. White._

_And it never made sense, because I was full blooded Native American. So why didn't I get the normal feautures? I wasn't tall or slim like everyone else. I was short, like really small and abnormally skinny. Lots of the girls at my school already had boobs. Sure some people go for that anorexic look. But I wanted to look tall and strong. Not weak and stick like._

_I sighed, passing the bus. Walking home was the way to go now that Paul started to take the bus. I swear he did it just to torture me, my home is not that far. Not that it helped with my trying to gain a few pounds._

_I walked a little faster. My parents noticed that I was coming home later than usually so I just told them the bus takes a different route and drops me off last. Not sure why they even have a bus, the tribal school is really close to everyones house. La push is not that big of a reservation. Sure my parents are caring and loving but there horrible at seeing my lies._

_The sound of footsteps behind me finally caught my attention. I didn't bother to look back before making a run for it. When I did look back it was none other than the asshole Paul._

_I wasn't always good at sports or running or anything involving my feet. Falling was a normal thing for me. So as I ran I tried to not fall down._

_"Hey!" He said irritated chasing after me. The sound of him huffing and running faster made me burst out into a sprint. He caught up to me though, because of course he was very athletic and I could hardly walk straight without falling. But I didn't fall on my own this time._

_Paul pushed me, hard. Into the ground. Like I literally face planted the ground I could hear my nose crack. "You ignoring me?" He said menacingly._

_I cried, he didn't even look guilty! He's such an ass._

_"You broke my nose Idoit!" I managed to say holding my nose as the blood poured from my nose. I hardly ever talked back to Paul, only like when he crossed the line like this. My nose was going to hurt real bad. It not like he hasn't physically hurt me before. Because he did a lot of times._

_He glared at me, and spit on the ground beside me before walking back off "You're nothing, and you know that"_

_Those were the last words Paul Lohate would had ever said to me. Because I ran home crying hysterically. Paul made me feel like shit on a daily basis, hell I hardly left my house or talked anymore. Everyone avoided me, even the nice people. Too them if you sided with me, you're sure to get tormented by paul too. Not like I blamed them, I would avoid me too._

_I didn't bother to look at my parents as I ran into the house and straight to the bathroom grabbing all the pills in the medicine cabinet, then ran too my room before my parents even had time to get up. I locked it and looked at my room. It was the smallest room you could ever imagine it hardly had room for the furniture I squeezed in there. But I loved it. It was like my own little place. I had hung up all the pictures I had (Which wasn't a lot) and all the art work I made._

_I was still crying hysterically, pouring all the pills onto the bed. Lots of colors and sizes, but they were all my escape. I heard my parents knock at the door. I didn't know which ones hurt me and which were harmless. So I grabbed the water bottle and swallowed most of what I could._

_My parents were banging on the door for about five more minutes when they decided to beat down the door. But I couldn't hear them well, I was numb now, so numb it felt good. I laid on the bed and waited for death to come. The last thing I saw was my parents had literally beaten down the door. The world swirled around me, and I think I laughed. Because finnaly I would find some peace._

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After that night and as soon as I got better my parents packed up and left, even put me in hospital care just to make sure I was okay .Not that I needed It, because once I was away from Paul everything slowly got better.

"Is this it?" The cab driver said, and I looked around and nodded. It took me forever to get a cab to drive me from Seattle to La Push. He obviously knew the reservation quite well seeing as I only had to give him a few directions.

We stopped at the little house. With lots of different flowers and stone walk path that lead to the front porch. I recognized instantly it was my Grandparents place. It stood out because nobody kept up there garden so beautiful. My grandparents had a lot of free time when they weren't working in the little shop they owned. Others were probably busy with work or children.

The shop was named after the family of Blackfeathers. Again wasn't too fond of my name, let alone having it on the sign of a shop. It sold spiritual books and little Native remedies, sometimes I thought of it as a Voodoo shop. But my grandmother was insulted when I suggested the magic of our tribe was dark. Not that I meant to insult her or the tribe. I sighed, you're probably wondering what could possible bring me back to this place?

My parents decided that a summer with my grandparents would be nice. I thought they were crazy because this place has forever scared me. Then I realized my grandmother had called, insisting I visited and that this was important for my life. All because of some crazy spiritual dream she had. But I'm stable now and my parents are convinced it would be good to for me to visit my grandparents.

I never got any taller and I'm still pretty short. I have bad nails from constant work on my art. I've gain enough weight to look skinny and I don't look anorexic anymore. Though I think I could still pass for looking malnourished at least I grew boobs, even if they aren't that big. I had a little bit of roundness to my cheeks. My hair was much longer and healthier since I was eating right. I'm pretty sure most of the scares I had been given were faded except for the one on my arm where Paul had pushed me once and I was cut on a sharp rock.

I usually never thought about La push or my years here. I was home schooled after moving and I've graduated, but my parents are not sure if I'm ready for college, so I'm staying here this summer to "relax". Oh and I've passed a year early. Because I threw myself into my work like the crazy girl I am.

It's true, I am still crazy. Although crazy people don't know there crazy. But I'm also new, a stronger person I would like to think. With more of a temper. Sure, I've tried to forget about all La push has done to me.

And it still hurts, but I've become a tougher person even if I look like a little fragile porcelain Native American doll. Like the one I used to have, except that had been creepy and I ended up hiding it so I wouldn't have to sleep next to it.

I walked up to the little house with an equally small porch. My grandpa had fallen asleep outside on the chair, my grandma got up as she saw me get out of the cab, with my stuff. I didn't own much, I figured I could buy a few items of clothing here anyways.

The wind was a bit chilly even though it was summer. The sundress I had on had native pattern and zigzags on it. It hugged my body a little more than I would have liked. It was my mother who picked it out for me. My grandmother shook my grandpa's arm waking him up. His eyes flickered open and he smiled. His tanned skin crinkling up in that smile that would make anyone go 'aww'

I loved them both so much "Hey grams hey gramps I've missed you so much" I said hugging them both, but being careful they looked so old and fragile. Not that they were, because they were really healthy for their age. My grandparents are the cutest couple, I giggled. There the kind of old couple you look at and hope you're like that when you're their age.

"I missed you, _Pititchu_" She sighed, I didn't mind there weird nicknames. _Pititchu _was Quileute for the moon. My grandmother was very fond of the Legends and was a very spiritual person like I said and My grandfather was part of the Council.

She called me the moon because the night I was born there was a full moon and she dreamt of wolves. Which she told me was a very good sign. That the spirits of our tribe were protecting me and the spirits of the moon would bring me love.

To be honest all that spirit and moon mumbo-jumbo was really interesting to me. My favorite bed time stories. When I would sleep over at my grandparents' house I wouldn't sleep until they told me at least one story. Most of them were made up, because how many times would a little kid listen to the same legend? But full of magic and life.

I looked at my grandparents then back at my house. Maybe this wasn't going to be such a bad summer.

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**A/N: I have been wanting to write this for a while now. Tell me what you think and if I should post more chapters.**


	2. A Magnificent Wolf and a Fascinated Girl

"_Someday my pain, someday my pain  
__Will mark you  
__Harness your blame, harness your blame  
__And walk through  
__With the wild wolves around you"_

_"Bon Iver- The Wolves (Act I and II)"_

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Chapter 2: A Magnificent Wolf and Fascinated Girl.

I finally finished unpacking when there was a knock on the door. Gran was out grocery shopping and told me someone would be around. Sue Clearwaters son, Seth. I don't really remember Seth because he was in the lower grades when I went to school and nobody ever really talked to me anyways. He should be around 14 right now if I remember correctly.

I opened the door, wondering what errand he was running for my grandma. And why she couldn't just have asked me? Maybe she thought I was tired from travel which I kind of was, but I wouldn't mind helping.

"Hello" He said smiling.

It took my mind a second to register that this was Seth because whoa, this kid was big. I expected to see someone smaller, but he was taller than me. Okay, most people were but he was supposed to be fourteen he looked like he could pass for 18. Seth was like a head taller than me and pretty well built.

"Whoa, you're small" He laughed. I cringed, I know he was joking but after being tormented for so long in this place, I expected nothing different. But by the way he held out his hands for a handshake confirmed he was only speaking lightheartedly. And it was true, I was small. Especially standing next to him.

"Hey" I said, shaking his hand. He was hot. No- I don't mean attractive, well he was even though he looked older than me, I preferred guys my age. Not that guys even looked at me, being home-schooled and known as the crazy girl in town and had a lot of outbursts when I first moved. I screamed and got mad a lot, but not with people. I think it was just anger at myself mostly so I didn't really get a lot of dates. But that's not the point! Seth was hot like he was dying from a _fever_.

"Why aren't you dressed?" He asked looking at the pajama's I had put on. Thinking that maybe I could sleep for a while. "You don't plan on going to the bonfire like that, do you?"

"Bonfire?" I asked suspiciously. Wasn't that just for the council members? Ahh right my grandpa's on the council. But I wasn't ever invited before and my grandmother told me they hardly had them when I was little so why would I be going there?

"Yea, Mrs. Mekanna told me she'd think it was nice you got out and met people. So she asked me to bring you to the bonfire." So grandma was making plans for me now, wanting me to be social. Great. Why would she want me to go to the bonfire? She had already told me all the legends including ones she made up for entertainment purposes when I was a kid. Plus she knew I wasn't the most social person.

I looked at Seth. Obviously he didn't know me, but I'm pretty sure the rest of the people on the reservation might. I don't even look that much different. And the problem with living in a small area was that everyone knew everyone. That meant gossip here was crazy.I could just imagine what people would say. 'Neoma Blackfeather crazy, suicidal, bully victim is back in La push!'

"So go get dressed" Seth said slowly and laughed. I looked at him, he was really cute in a little brother kind of way and how could I say no to that adorable face? I didn't really know what to do. Would my grandma be mad if I didn't go? Honestly it might not be a bad idea to just go. The beach was a nice place and I'm sure Seth wouldn't be hanging out with my age group. Yea, he'd probably going to be there with other council members sons.

Paul had never been part of the comminute get togethers; the only time he showed up to a party or bonfire is if it had drinks and hot girls. And I pretty sure the council has neither.

I didn't mind kids if that meant there was a chance Paul wouldn't be there. Paul picked on anyone younger or smaller than him. Which was pretty much most of the school. He's probably still in school as a Junior. Maybe he failed a grade or two, doesn't seem so unlikely for him. I nodded to myself, running to my room. I had just convinced myself to go, I thought with a laugh.

My room was small just like the one I used to have here in La push. Except it had a sliding door which made it easier to get in and out. My grandparents' room was a little bit bigger, but still small. This whole place was small, but cozy. The only good memories were in La push with my grandparents' house.

I shoved on some light jeans and loose shirt, pulled my hair up, and swiftly applied some more deodorant. There was only going to be kids there anyways. I replaced my earring to go with my shirt. My ears had been pierced twice and I had a little stud at the top of my ear. That one hurt like hell to get, but it was worth it.

I also had my belly button pierced. It took forever to get my parents to agree to that one. What they didn't agree to was the little tattoo on my hip. That hurt like hell too. You're probably wonder why a girl who doesn't have friends, doesn't go out much had gotten a tattoo. Or how I even found a place when I never talked to anyone.

Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. There were rumors that a person wasn't checking for ID. So I went ahead and got it, having to bravely confront the scary tattoo artists and hope they didn't tell me to fuck off. But it was true they didn't ask for ID, even though I looked much younger than my 15 year old self. That had been a year ago.

It was a small crescent moon with a wolf beside it howling. Representing the moon spirit and the tribal spirits together. It was pretty amazing if you ask me. I almost wanted to give a fat big kiss to the tattoo artist, if he wasn't all hairy and sweaty. And if I wasn't crying so much that I could hardly see.

Yea, so I'm a sucker for that story of the moon and spirits plus it really really hurt. My grandparents still loved each other even after all these years nothing tore them apart. I can't even think of a time they were fighting. My parents were all gooey and mushy all the time. You'd think they were teenagers.

So it seemed fair I got that kind of love that lasts forever. Maybe it was like a kind of spell put on my family. I laughed, I've been here for a few hours and I'm talking about finding love and family spells.

I walked down the stairs and back to where Seth was standing. I smiled awkwardly; he was forced to take me to hang out with him in his friends. Oh god, I'm so lame crashing everyone's party. But it didn't look like he minded. Well, I hoped the bonfire didn't last too long.

We walked forward I guess that meant we were walking to the beach. Seth looked like he was old enough to drive, but I'm sure he wasn't of legal age yet.

I looked up La push had so many stars, you could stare at it for hours. Of course I have lived under many stars in Nevada since it was half an hour from Lake Tahoe, even with a lot of tourist attractions it was pretty well kept and it was beautiful at night.

There actually was a Native reservation by the Lake away from all the ski resorts and guesthouses, although me and my family didn't live there. We lived more in the city. Yet my parents often visited some friends they had living on the reservation.

It was about a thirty minute drive to get there from where we lived, and my parents would often take me to the Lake to watch the stars. My dad would sometimes fish although after I saw him once, I refused to participate looking at a little fish with a hook in its mouth. So, I just sat and watched the pretty stars some more.

My grandma had told me it was because the stars surround the most magical places. I'd like to believe that, La push was a magical beautiful little place too. Too bad it was stained with bad memories.

"Your grandma said you lived here before" Seth said, smiling. I nodded severely, hoping he wouldn't ask anything more about the past.

Of course the first thing he brings up is my past.

"Why'd you leave?" He asked, oblivious to my reaction.

I looked down, silent. I never planned on making up a lie for why I moved, I didn't think anyone would ask. I didn't think I would have to get out of the house to begin with actually. I got the same feeling of my stomach ripping it's self apart.

"Stuff" I said painfully. He finally caught on to the way I was feeling and looked down too.

"Sorry, didn't mean to pry." He said apologetically. I knew that, Seth seemed like a social little kid. Not the popular stuck up jock but more like the kid everyone liked and the girls thought were sweet.

I shook my head, "Nahh it's okay" I said trying to lighten the mood, even if I felt like vomiting. Who knew just a memory could hurt me so bad.

He changed the subject. "Your name's Neoma right?"

"Yupp" I said, kicking a rock in front of me trying not to be awkward.

"I like it, it's different." He smiled, he was like a little child or puppy when he smiled it was so cute. I was an only child, so I always wanted a little brother or sister.

We made our way to the beach in silence. It was getting darker and I could see the tall flames from here with about 5 or 6 tall figures. Damn, they couldn't have been Seth's age. They had to all be even older than me, so maybe they wouldn't know me. We walked up to the small group of very large guys. The all looked twice or ever three times my size. They looked over at me and Seth.

"Who's this?" The oldest looking one asked. I didn't recognize him at all. So either he was too young for me to remember (Which I doubt), or too old that he graduated long before I had which was more likely.

"Neoma, she's living with her grandparents. Mr. Garret and Mrs. Makenna. You know, The Blackfeathers" I smiled awkwardly trying to show no discomfort. But how comfortable could it be being around so many strange giants?

The man held out a hand. "I'm Sam Uley" he smiled, as I shook his hand

"I'll introduce you to everyone." Seth said, pulling me away from Sam before he had the chance to say anything else, "You guys listen up, we got a guest" He said, they turned their heads around and I jumped.

One of the giants was Paul.

Paul fucking Lahote.

That was just my luck!

I also started to shake and the tears were going to build up inside of me, but I turned my emotions into anger. Just like I had been doing ever since I left this place. The memories repeated in my head. It's like stepping on a nail, all you want to do is scream out the pain.

"This is Embry, Jake, Quil, and _Paul"_ All I heard was his name, the anger swirling around in my head. He gestured to them as he spoke, but I couldn't concentrate. Paul looked so much bigger and stronger, I mean I didn't except him to be so much buffer and stronger . Oh my god, he looked so much scarier. What was wrong with these guys, steroids? Intensive workouts every day? My mind started to worry a bit about my own safety.

He also looked at me differently, creepy. When he used to look at me, it was mean and disgusted. Now it was different, I couldn't tell but he looked amazed and gentle. And Paul _never_ looked fucking gentle. His eyes looked at me with kindness. And it was weird. I didn't know I was shaking until Paul's hand came down on my arm. The nerve of him!

"You okay?" He asked, did he really not recognize me? I didn't look that different.

"Don't. touch. Me." I jerked back angrily. He looked hurt, and confused and even worried. But this was my chance to tell Paul off after all these years.

"Paul, you come close to me while I'm here and I swear I will fucking run you over or kill you in some slow and painful way" The threat would have been so much more intimidating if my voice wasn't cracking.

I knew I had a bit of a temper since moving from La push. But I was angry as hell now. Before I left this place, I might have cried at the sight of Paul. I was a different person now. I'd like to think I was stronger.

So I punched him.

Straight in the jaw.

I think it hurt me more than him. The fact that I had to hold back a scream and I could feel my hand throbbing made me think I might of broken it or really damaged it. I realized now I should run before he had the chance to strangle me, so I turned around and pushed my legs to run as fast as they could. Not that I was even a good runner and the sand made it even harder to run.

"Shit! Neoma? Wait! " He called after me angrily shaking too. I was surprised he knew my real name. I could hear him angrily running behind me. That was not a good sign. Oh my god, I just punched Paul. The excitement rose in me before fear replaced it and I thought I saw my pathetic life flash before my eyes.

I couldn't do this! I wasn't ready to come back. Hell, I don't think I'd ever be ready!

"Neoma, wait!" He started to run after me. He probably could out run a cheetah. I tried to run faster, my heart beating out of my chest. Adrenaline coursing through my veins. So this is how it feels in the horror movies, when the killer chases relentlessly after the poor victim.

The night sky made it hard to see in front of me, I looked back to see he was closer, close enough to for him to grab me. But looking back was a stupid move, I tripped and fell. I gasped realizing he might trip over me and crush me to death. But then I felt his arms around me and I was staring at the sand that I was meant to face plant in. I wrenched out of his grip. Dropping onto the cool sand.

"I said don't touch me." I shrieked at him. I couldn't take this, I had to get away. After months of stability and harmony Paul had ruined it. I would be a mess for a while now.

"Wait, please. I just want to talk to you" He pleaded. It was so odd. I've never seen Paul once look like he cared. Infact, I've never heard Paul say the word 'please' But he didn't care. He never did. All those times he hurt me, all those times he made me feel like nothing. He simply did not care about anything.

"Well, you know what Paul, I don't want to talk to you. I don't even want to be in La push. But I am, and that doesn't mean I have to see you. " My voice was acidic and cold filled with pure hatred.

He started shaking, which was strange but I really didn't care; I jumped back up and ran away. Seth had walked me to the beach, so I really couldn't remember how to get back. It's been so long since I've walked to the beach and I was too upset to actually concentrate on where I was going. So I decided on just running as far as I could.

I soon found myself surrounded by lots of mush and mud. The dark night above was covered with the sight of branches and tall tree's. I had ran right into the forest. The damn forest that was supposed to bring me love. What the hell would it bring. A talking chipmunk to ease my pain? God, I'm so upset I can't even think straight.

All I could see was green and brown blurs. The wind caressed my face as I silently cried. Fighting back the sadness. I whipped out my phone, with shaking hands. There wasn't a lot of contacts on my phone, just my parents, grandparents, and if I ever needed to make an emergency call. I dialed my parent's number, not sure if they would answer at this time.

They were probably busy, with work or not in the house. I called the house trying to control my voice so I could at least speak. Too think I came here actually thinking I could take this. The phone rang three times before putting me through to the answering machine. I hung up, clutching my phone. So maybe I was still the weak little skeleton Paul used to push around.

I had thought I was strong, but when time came to face Paul. I punched Paul and fled the scene. Okay, that was pretty cool. But now I'm dead, and when he finds me. It going to be like Tribal school all over again, except worse because somehow he's really buff.

"I want to leave," I whispered into the phone though nobody could hear. The wind had picked up and I should try to find my way home but I couldn't move. So I sunk down leaning on a tree. This place was more comforting than creepy now that I think of it.

I put my head in my hands and cried everything out. Because I would never shed a tear in front of anyone, so I was kind of glad I was in the middle of nowhere in this damn forest. It wasn't like I could just leave this place. If I did that meant Paul had won again, and I was determined to leave this place with my dignity.

I heard a whimper, not like a humanly. Like when a dog whimpers because it's upset or in pain. There was nothing here but trees and mud. I kept my head in my hands my crying stopping abruptly and replace with fear. If it was a wild dog I should just stay still. I shivered when I felt something breathing on me. It wasn't the cool wind of the forest; it was the warm breath of a very large animal. Do I dare look up?

I shivered and felt it so close to me, if I looked at it would be ten times scarier. I lifted my head, slowly, keeping my eyes closed. If you kept still it wouldn't eat they say. I really hoped that's true. I opened my eyes to a giant wolf…

The wolf was beautiful, and too big. Was it even a wolf? Wolfs weren't this big. It came closer, I knew I was supposed to remain calm, but my shaking was something I couldn't control. I was deathly scared of this beautiful creature.

It's fur was grayish with hints of black and brown. The moonlight reflected off the grey hair making it look an odd silver color. It reminded me of the moon itself. This wolf looked to clean. And aside from it being deathly scary; It was magnificent and beautiful. Wasn't it supposed to have eaten me by now?

It moved forward, and nuzzled it's nose to my neck. Sniffing me. I kept still, like what they did on the movies when the humans were in front of a t-rex I sat still as a statue, waiting for death to come.

It licked me across the face, leaving it's drool all over the side of my head. He kneeled in front of me, and closed its eyes. Yes, it was a he and don't ask me how I know.

I laughed though because those were not actions of aggression. It almost looked like a puppy. A very huge, wild puppy. That could probably eat me in one bite like I was some kind of snack.

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and slowly walked closer with a sniffle. I know I should have used those moments to run away screaming or something. But this wolf was so interesting. Maybe it was a circus wolf, I doubt that though. It just looked so intelligent.

"You're so pretty" I whispered as I reached a hand out. It didn't move as I brushed my hand across its soft fur. I crawled closer and slowly wrapped my arms around what I could of the wolf. Semi hugging it. I hid my face and started to cry again. The sound startling the wolf but then he started to make a whining sound like he was in pain.

"I thought I could do this, but I don't think I can now." I muttered into his pillow soft fur. The wolf made the same whining sound, and I hugged it tighter. He shifted so he was laying down more comfortably for a wolf and I rolled my body over so my head was resting on the his body. He didn't seem to mind. He just turned its big head and looked at me.

When I say looked at me I mean like _really_ looked at me. I shivered, the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen on anyone even a person. There were specks of gold, all around the pupil and a deep dark brown which made the gold tint pop out more.

They looked so familiar, I shivered again. The wolf must have mistaking my reaction for being cold. It curled closer to me and I accepted the gesture by snuggling up to it. Okay you know it did have that dog smell, but it wasn't the bad kind. It was like a puppy that had just been washed with really good smelling shampoo.

"You're very warm wolfy" I can't belive I'm talking to a wolf. And I just called it wolfy. I must be really dazed from all my crying. It soft rumble passed through it's chest. It sounded like it was laughing or purring I couldn't tell which. I never could get to sleep before, so it figures when I'm resting on a wild wolf I suddenly start to get sleepy. I looked up at the moon, numbly.

"The moon and forest spirits are going to bring me my love you know, I hope they do that soon." I laughed and mumbled trying to keep my eyes open. "Maybe I could sacrifice Paul, I don't think the spirits would want him though. Maybe they would praise me for killing the devil" I laughed a little more.

I yawned and kept talking, "I've waited a looong time to punch Paul fucking Lahote." I mumbled and the wolf let out another whimper. I petted his paw beside me "I don't think it hurt him though, but I'm pretty sure I'll feel this in the morning" I held up my hand weakly and winced. The wolf licked my hand, with it warm tongue. That should gross me out , but it didn't. It felt nice. It probably was going to bruise anyways.

Something tugged at the back of my mind. Like I should realize something obvious. Or more like dejavu , not that I had ever been in this situation before. But I heard something like this before. Like someone had told me something about giant wolfs.

I don't really remember how long It took me to fall asleep I just know that I fell asleep looking at the night sky with my head rested on the most gentle wild wolf I've seen.

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**A/N: This was a very long chapter ,one of my longest so far, hope you enjoyed it and tell me your thoughts please? Reviews are a writers fuel. Also thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter and favorited/alerted this story. **


	3. Well, Hello Mr Shapeshifter

"_No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber  
Until I realized that it was you who held me under  
Felt it in my fists, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids  
Shaking through my skull, through my spine, and down through my ribs"_

_"Florence +the Machine- Blinding"_

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Chapter 3: Well, Hello Mr. Shapeshifter

_"Come here, Pitatchu" My grandmother said as I watched my little 4 years old self climb up on her lap and smile up at her._

_"Which story is we tellin today, what bout da one bout an- ans- answestors.. ?" I cooed trying to pronounce the word ancestors correctly, clapping my little hands excitedly._

_"Yes, One of the most important one's of our tribe. The great spirit warriors." My grandmothers voice said and she smiled and started to tell the story that I had known all my life but for some reason her voice became so low that I strained to hear her. Then I couldn't hear anything at all it was just gran and my mouth moving as if I went deaf._

_This was a dream, a different kind of dream. I realized as I watched my 4 year old smile wider with excitement glowing in her eyes as they both form words that I could not hear._

_The setting of the dream swirled around me as it was black all around. Little stars started to twinkle as I looked up at the night sky. A soft breeze few across when I heard a howl of a wolf that shattered my ears._

_I looked in front of me to see the wolf. With myself crying on its pillow soft fur. The dream displaying my encounter with…_

_One of the shape shifters?_

_I don't know why but I started running, faster and faster through the tree, as the sliver wolf appeared in front of me as the over-sized moon made it's fur blindingly bright. I wanted to move, but was stuck at the moment._

_"Mine." Was all he said, his voice distorted and ruff sounding. I finally ran away again into the cover of the forest._

_The moon shined brighter and brighter._

_I soon realized I had to run for my life._

_The moon was getting closer and closer._

_About to hit the earth-_

I woke up, startled and sweating. I half expected to see the wolf or at least be a mess in the forest but when I looked around I was back in my room. I wonder how I got back or maybe it really was all just a dream?

The dream like setting of the forest and me confiding in a lone wolf ran through my head. Then it hit me. This was no dream.

A protector.

A spirit warrior.

Could I really have been so blind?

The legends I had been told as a little girl had hit me in the head like a brick. How could I have not noticed it last night?

My mind had written all those stories off as fictional or non-existent. The thought of the big wolf being a spiritual animal was out of the question for my mind.

Oh my, I had come so close to one of them! So beautiful and magnificent, why had I not noticed all this when I fell asleep on a giant wolf!

The window had been left open and it was horribly cold, because the window was much too big for my little room. The crazy La push wind did not help the case of keeping warm. It was early morning, but I knew my grandparents always woke up early too. Usually with my parents I was the first to wake up.

I put on my clothes for the day and slipped out my room, looking around for my grandparents in a hurry. They were in the kitchen cooking together. Chopping vegetables and making eggs.

"Morning _Pitatchu_" My grandfather said as my grandmother kissed my forehead.

"Morning?" I said cautiously. Had the wolf just dragged me home? What about its human form? It could be anyone! Did they live among us as normal people or did they hide out in the woods? Oh god, I needed to refresh my mind on the legends.

"_Pitatchu?_" A unwelcoming voice asked, I turned around to look at a Paul on the couch and shivered. So yesterday was real. My hand was bruised up enough for proof. I realized as the soreness of my knuckles came to my attention.

Then the memory of punching came back to me. Consuming my thoughts at the moment. Pushing aside my thoughts on the legends.

Was he here too kill me? Why would they let him in! Seth was beside him, smiling cheekily. Paul looked- well he didn't look mean but he had that same expression as yesterday. Gentle and soft, It had was all part of some plan or joke.

"Hey Neoma" Seth smiled beside him, but I was too shocked to even give a smile back,

"Hello" I said anxiously. "What's going on?" I turned to my grandparents and asked. I tried to keep my cool. I mean so what, big deal. The boy that has made my life hell was sitting in the room. I could handle this, right?

Wrong. I couldn't handle this, and I knew it. Yesterday had been a fact I couldn't handle Paul being around and now he was in my- well, my grandparents' house!

"We invited Seth and his friend, Paul over for breakfast." My grandma said way too innocently. Didn't she know who he was? Ofcourse she did!

"What the …" I said annoyed, she invited him in. The boy that made me hate myself and ruined my good life in La push.

"Neoma! Be nice and watch your language!" She said giving me a disapproving look before I could finish my sentence.

"Hmph " I said, stomping out of the house. Too much stuff to take in this morning, I would snap again. I ignored whatever they were saying as I stepped outside and I headed to the beach. Surely I could clear my mind there. The outside air was already doing good for me, as I realized I was slightly hyperventilating.

Calm down, everything's fine. I told myself.

It wasn't long before I heard foot-steps. They were too quick to be my grandparents; I really hoped it was Seth. If it's Paul then I swear..

"Wait" he said, sure enough it's Paul.

"Paul" I turned around not bothering to control my anger. "What do you want? It's been three years, Please give up the act and pick on someone else. Because I've just recovered and I don't want to go through that again I don't want to have to leave La push because of you. So please just stop."

"So, is it true? You left because of a suicide attempt that day?" He asked, I could see the agony in his eyes. It was fake, it had to be. Paul didn't agonize over anything.

I looked away, he had no right to ask that. It was none of his fucking business.

"Well, did you?"

No reply.

"Did. You.?" His face hardened etched with sadness too.

"Yes, are you happy now? I tried to fucking kill myself that day. Are you feeling all good inside." I said holding back my cries, half screaming the words in anger at him. He was making me admit one of my biggest regrets. I turned and started to walk away in a hurry.

"You think I'm proud of that?" He called over angrily. "You think I'm that cruel?!" Here he goes with his stupid stupid temper. Well, two can play at that game.

"Yes! Yes I do!" I said blinking my tears out of my eyes letting the sharp tone seep through ever word. "You've done nothing but ruin my life, and you can't even leave me be, after three years. I'm finnaly okay, and for some reason you feel the need to ruin everything again."

"I don't want to ruin anything!" He was shaking, hard. He caught up to me and persistently walked beside me even after trying to shove him away a few times. "I want a second chance." He said

"Fuck you Paul Lahote, I will never let you into my life." I said walking further down the street. "Stop acting because you can beg on your hands and knee's but I will _never _forgive you."

"Please, Neoma, I felt terrible about what I did to you. Don't go" He pleaded for me to come back. I shook my head and kept walking. He ran after me again, why wouldn't he give up? What was in it for him, because Paul did not do anything unless something was in it for him.

He pulled me into a tight hug practically lifting me off the ground. I screamed. "Let me go. I told you not to touch me!."

He didn't listen to me he just buried his face in my hair and hugged me. The thought of being held was nice, no boy has ever actually cared for my like that.

But this was Paul, Paul_ fucking_ Lahote and I refused to like it, and it wasn't that hard seeing as I very much hated the man holding me with every cell of my body. "What do you think you're doing?" I shouted in his ear, squirming, kicking, and thrashing in every direction trying to slip out of his hold.

"I'm trying to make it up too you but I don't know what to do" He growled in my ear. I couldn't tell which emotion was stronger, sadness or Anger.

"You want the make it up Paul. Put me down and leave. Don't talk to me look at me or anything to make your presence even fucking known in front of me." I shot back at him.

He was shaking hard; I could feel my body shaking just because of him. He shook his head. "You don't mean that." He said looking at me, with a death stare. " You _can't _mean that"

"You can't tell me what I do or do not mean and yes I swear I've never meant anything more in my life " I used my voice like a whip struggling. Jeeze he was ten times scarier "Paul let go, dammit"

"No, I just need a second chance. "

"Well too bad!" I screamed. "Help, Someone help!" Hoping someone would get him off of me. "I'm being attacked!" I kicked at Paul. "Help!"

He started shaking harder and his hold got deathly tight. I gasped. "Paul.. I .. really..can't.. breath.."

"Paul, Let her go, you going hurt her!" I heard Seth say from somewhere but my ears were ringing and my head felt like was going to explode.

And just like that I was free, I fell to the floor. Hitting the hard concrete of the side walk, knocking the air out of my lungs. _ooouch_. Seth had yanked Paul back and it took me a moment to breath again. I didn't even know the kid had that much strength. Seth looked strong, but Paul was obviously much bigger and taller. I burst off into a run, hoping Seth would be okay. I mean if he was strong enough to actually yank Paul out of the way then he would be fine.

I ran towards the beach crying when I was sure I was out of sight. God, why couldn't he just let me be? I haven't even been here for a week and he was already messing with my head.

I nearly tripped as I dropped onto the sand. I wrapped my arms around my knees and hugged them to my body and I shook and cried. The fuck is his problem? Couldn't he just leave me alone. And the way my grandparents just let him in! Like he did nothing to me. Maybe everyone has gone crazy in La push. But wasn't I supposed to be the crazy one here?

I jumped when a warm hand nudged me and held back the waterfall that were falling down my cheeks, wiping the tears away before Seth could see. He got here fast, maybe Paul didn't start a fight. I mentally snorted. Never mind that statement, Paul _always_started a fight. Maybe Seth just got away.

"You okay?" He asked concerned.

I nodded harshly.

"He feels really bad you know. He's feels guilty about what happened." Seth was defending him? My eyes went wide and I trying not to let my jaw drop in shock.

"He's lying then. He never felt guilty about anything." I said coldly , staring intently at the waves now.

"Come on Neoma, he's changed. He's a good person now." Seth said trying to convince me. It wasn't really working. "Everyone deserves a second chance, right?" I'm not sure how this adorable kid was friends with that jackass.

"Not _him_." I said with revulsion. I've gotten broken noses and cuts and bruises from this guy. He drove me insane. Literally.

"Look at him, I know Paul's an ass, but he really feels bad about what he did. It's been three years." Seth nodded towards the end of the beach, where Paul was kicking a rock slightly shaking. I felt the anger bubble up inside me again.

"So you think just because its been a long time, I should've heal from it, everything he's done to me. It's okay because it was a long time ago." I shot at Seth, but regretted the words instantly. Seth was just trying to make peace.

"I'm sorry" I sighed, looking down. This is not what I expected to happen when I came back to La push.

"It's okay. And I'm _not_ saying you should forget what happened. I'm just saying you should try to forgive him. He means well. Just go talk to him, don't think of him as the old Paul, think of him as the new paul."

I stared at him, "Paul is Paul." We sat in silence as I looked over at Paul. He couldn't have been that good of an actor. And who would he be acting for? I mean we weren't in school anymore.

I walked back, but it was definitely not towards Paul. I started to run back to the house. Seth probably decided it was better to leave me alone right now and not push the forgiveness subject.

Running back into the house I sat down on the chair and look down at the table, utterly horrified. "How could you do that to me?" I asked them as they continued to cook breakfast. My breathing was heavy from running.

"He's a good boy now." My grandpa grunted sympathetically pouring some orange juice in a cup.

"Doesn't change what he's done to me." I said, glaring at the cup as my grandpa set it down in front of me. But I was to thirsty not to drink it over a grudge.

"Now, Now. People change." My grandma said. Why were they defending him too? She was there at the hospital when I woke up after trying to kill myself because of Paul.

A few tears rolled down my cheeks. How could they act like this? My grandmother lifted her wrinkled finger, to wipe away my tears. "I'm sorry, Neoma. Maybe you're not entirely wrong. We should have asked you if you were comfortable with bringing Paul over."

I nodded whipping the new set of tears away from my eyes. I didn't like to cry. Especially over a subject like Paul. I rather be angry.

Angry.

That's my way of sadness.

The anger seeped through my veins and like adrenaline.

Angry. Angry. Angry.

It's better than being upset. I hopped out of the seat running past Seth as he was apparently walking back to the house for that promised breakfast. Paul was nowhere to be found and I was perfectly fine with that.

The forest was lightened up by the sound of birds chirping and the sun beaming through the branches. I held my breath trying to calm down.

1..2..3..4..5

"Breath.." I muttered to myself, taking deep breath but failed to calm down.

Counting did nothing for my anger. I snapped my hand back and let it connect with a forest trunk.

That would have helped if it didn't hurt so badly.

"Owwww!" I grunted shaking my hand.

All I heard was the flapping off bird wings and the silence of the forest a moment later a huff of a animal and the warm wolf breath that hit my back. A smiled pulled up at the corner of my lips even though the tears rolled down my cheeks again. But that was mostly from the pain in my hand.

"Well, Hello Mr. Shapeshifter."

The wolf stiffened, but I could see a wolfy grin on his face. He nodded once dimly.

"So the legends are actually true." I said wide eyed with fascination as I stepped forward hoping the shapeshifter would allow me to touch him again.

He simply kneeled in front of me letting me run my hands through the fur on its head. Too be so close to something a spiritual as a shapeshifter was incredible.

"You understand me right?" I asked, checking make sure. Although I hoped it wouldn't seeing as I confided and cried my eyes out in front of the wolf last night. But as I expected the wolf nodded, making me blush a little bit under my tanned skin.

"C-Can you change..back into human?" I asked, wondering if he would allow me to him in human form.

He whimpered, shaking his big head back and forth.

"You can't?" I asked, would it hurt for him to shift or did he simply not want to.

He shook his head again. No? So he could change back?

"You don't." I said realizing, I was being pushy.

He nodded, and I frowned. Not that I should have expected anything else. The wolf seemed to sense my sadness as he nuzzled my cheek whipping a few tears with his large nose then looked at me like 'cheer up'.

I sighed, taking a step forward wondering if he would follow. Surely a spirit warrior had better things to do that walk with a temperamental teenager. I smiled as the wolf took another step forward.

The smile grew bigger. "Would you like to walk with me?" I asked him, running my hands through his fur unthinkingly. The wolf made a rumbling sound that was close to a purr, which is weird because I thought only cats purred. He nodded his big head up and down.

You might think I'm really insane. Even though walking in the woods with a giant spiritual wolf made me think I kind of was insane. But I grew up with these legends, and to for them to actually be real kind of exciting.

I didn't talk much, as I rested my hand on his head as we walked. I had to make sure he was by my side. One because I could easily get lost. Two because this spiritual wolf is the only person or animal that I've been comfortable with in a long time that wasn't related to me and That was pretty pathetic.

"So you must not be the only shapeshifter" I rambled on. "Every wolf needs a pack. I can't believe all the legends are actually true. Which means everything I have been told was true. Well most of it, Woah." My eyes were filled with excitement.

The wolf gave another rumbly laughter. I smiled. "You must have better things to do than walk with me? I mean I don't want to keep you from anything.. ermm yea." I said awkwardly, talking to an animal makes you feel crazy no matter how well they understand what you're saying.

Another rumble type wolf laugh with the shake of his head.

I poked the wolf making sure it wasn't a figment of my imagination. Crazy people don't know there crazy.. But the world looked so real and alive.

"Just making sure you're real" I said when it looked at me. I poked myself to double check.

I oddly wonder how old the shapeshifter was. 100? 200? The legends say they don't age unless they stop changing into their wolf form.

"You umm, do you do all the stuff the legends say.. Like umm oh god fight vampires?" I asked, realized now that the story of the 'cold ones' were actually true too. I shivered, great. Perfect here come nightmares for a while. Those stories often scared me when I was little. My grandmother describing many battle the wolves had with the 'cold ones'.

It nodded its big head and nuzzled it's nose to my cheek to as if to say, I'll protect you. But of course this shapeshifter would protect me and everyone else.

"So I'd like to ask a few questions.. Yes or no, of course. if you don't mind. Unless there some kind of secret or something.. Then just don't answer. T-that is if you have the time.." I shrugged trying to keep cool. But how exciting was this? Walking down the forest with a shapeshifter.

Another wolf rumble and the nod of its head.

I jumped up once excitedly but then fiddled with the end of my shirt. "Okay. So first question, Are you over a 100 years old?"

Stiff shake of his head, so I guess he wasn't fond of age.

"Under 100?"

He nodded.

"So you're young. Like a New generation of wolfs?" I asked hesitantly.

Nod little more relaxed. I smiled excitedly.

"Is you're pack big? Like more than two or three people?"

Nod. I raised my eyebrow curiously.

"Do my questions bore you?"

He shook his big wolf head and smiled showing his teeth. Even though it looked scary, his smile was gentle and meant no harm.

"Okay Next question." I smiled before continuing to attack him with my questions. I wanted to know everything, like if he had come across a lot of vampires. Did he actually enjoy fighting vampires.

I told him about me too, although I knew I was boring. I added things like my favorite color when we walked by a bunch purple flowers. I told him once about my grandmother scaring me into good behavior with her tales, which amused him. I could tell by his wolf smile.

I stopped abruptly when something caught the back of my shirt and look back to see the wolf holding me back by my shirt with his teeth.

He nudged me back to the opposite direction and then lifted his eyes up to the sky. It was so odd seeing an animal act so intelligent. But after all this was no animal it was a protector. He was trying to show me how late it had gotten. The sun was going down. Had we really been walking that long and bigger question is how would we get back in time?

The wolf whined to get my attention, and kneeled down. I understood he was waiting for me to get on his back.

"Uh no thanks, I'll just walk." I said, he grabbed my shirt with his teeth again and held me there until I gave in.

"okay!Okay.." I said trying to slide myself onto his back. His warm fur was softer than a pillow. No wonder I fell asleep so quickly in the forest. I clutched to his fur for dear life. According to the legends the wolf had inhumanly speed. So I braced myself burying my face in his nice smelling coat of fur.

And Oh my was he _fast_!

The only evidence of us actually moving was the sound of his paws hitting the floor and the wind whipping at me, like I had foolishly stuck my head out of an airplane.

It seemed like seconds later we stopped and I fell to the ground, my body trembling as a reaction. The wolf whimpered concerned and nuzzled his nose to my belly.

"I'm fine , I'm fine." I gasped pushing myself up. The wolf huffed relived.

I dizzily looked around to realized we were at my house, were the forest stopped. He didn't come out of the cover of the forest tree's.

He nudged me towards my house.

"Will I see you again sometime?" I asked, knowing I was sounding so clingy to a wolf, a protector that probably had much more important things to do than spend time with a lonely girl.

He gave me a wolf smile and nodded before dashing off into the forest.

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**A/N: Another Long Chapter :). Tell me what you think? Can I get 10 reviews for the next chapter? It would make my day or life. lol**

**Oh and question- What do you think of the way she's finding out about the the werewolves? I didn't want him to just tell her, I wanted her to have to slowly figure out who the wolf is. :)**


	4. Did I Just Make Him Cry?

**A/N: Just wanted to thank you all for the reviews, favorites, and alerts. I see every one of them. They make me smile. :)  
& I am not Native American and I don't speak Quileute, so go easy on me if the translation or words are somewhat wrong.  
And for everyone who enjoys a good Paul/Neoma fight. This chapter is for you. haha**

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_"Seems like nothing I said  
Ever meant anything  
But a headline over my head  
Thought I made a stand  
only made a scene  
There's no feast for the underfed  
All the unknown, dying or dead"_

_"Dreams so Real- Metric"_

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Chapter 4: Did I Just Make Him Cry?

The past three days were somewhat tolerable. Even though I hadn't seen my shapeshifter, but he promised to see me again sometime and I didn't doubt him one bit. After all a shapeshifter must have a very busy schedule. I laughed and listened to the rain hitting against the window. The rain was somewhat to blame for my awakening. That and the fact I had a nightmare again. The pillow beneath my head felt nice. It reminded me of my wolfs cozy fur as I thought of my dream…

_My wolfs eyes, the little sparks of gold in them filled me with happiness. The dream had been so real. As if I was floating through the darkness of the sky without a care. The only visible light was the moon, how would this be considered a nightmare you ask? Just wait._

_I simply landed on the moon and wandered around until I found those eyes I've come to adore. My wolfs eyes. Everything else was a blur as we were bouncing around. I danced around with my shape shifter friend as he tackled me playfully. The gravity making our hair float in every direction like were underwater, like I'm swimming in happiness._

_"Mine." His distorted voice said. I was confused until I saw the wolf was replaced with Paul. He floated with me, smiling as he tackled me. But I wanted my wolf friend not Paul._

_"No." I told him, pushing him away sending him floating until he swam back down. He pushed me down the rather sandy feeling floor of the moon._

_"Mine." He said letting his lips trail to my cheek his eyes look pleading, as if he's begging me to accept this._

_"No." I said again. He pushes me down harder and the moon's surface and I started sinking into the floor._

_"No?" He smirked placing a kiss on my forehead. I shook my head and squirmed to get away._

_"No." I snarled at him but he pushed me harder making me sink into the ground some more. I was afraid I was going to be stuck._

_"No?" He taunted me again as it started to rain in my dream. The little pellets of water hit us even though it there seemed to be no gravity._

_"I rather die." I assured him._

_"Then you will. We both will." He looked angered. Then I couldn't breathe. He pushed me into the depths of ground and I started sinking into the blackness. The only thing I could comprehend was the fear I had, fear of Paul, fear of losing my shapeshifter, and the fear of death._

The dream I remembered so vividly seemed to be rooted in my brain. I'd hope to see the shapeshifter today or I would try to see him and at least make sure the he was okay. I should walk out to the woods, after all what if he was trying to see me but I've been out of reach? But how could you find someone in the woods without any form of communication except yelling or calling to him. I didn't even know his name!

I rubbed my eyes, and stretched. Today was going to be another _fantastic _day I thought sarcastically. My grandparents did respect my wish to be warned about Paul's company and as always I locked myself in my room refusing to see him. My grandparents would give me a disapproving frown before going back to tell Paul to leave. So it would be no different today.

I threw my blanket aside and got up for the day. The silly nightmare had taken its toll on my appearance. The faint circles under my eyes were unsettling against my tan skin, I noted as I french braided my hair. It had gotten very long, practically down to the small of my back. It wasn't ever this long even when I was in school.

As I braided through my long, jet black hair I thought about telling grandparents about the shapeshifter, but afraid of what they would say. I've contemplated it for the last three days. There was no reason to be afraid of telling them. The legends were part of them too.

I'm surprised they didn't catch on to it though. My room was filled with drawing and painting of the majestic wolf. The drawings didn't really look like him, but I wanted to wait until I saw him again to paint him. That was if he didn't mind modeling for me. I giggled at the thought.

But telling them didn't feel right. It was like my little secret. I've never really had talk to someone so freely. I never had a friend that I could just talk to and he would listen to me. My shapeshifter gave me comfort.

I walked out of my room, still in pajamas, and peeked out of the door frame to check if it was empty. Paul wasn't here today and I was glad. I didn't really care for a reason to his absence just as long as he wasn't here. The room was silent except for the sizzle of a frying pan and the smell of eggs. I wasn't much for eggs. They had always tasted a bit weird to me.

"_Hac`h chi`i_ [Good Morning], _Pititchu_." My grandparents said at the same time as I walked in. My grandpa gave me a wrinkled smile that automatically triggered a smile of my own.

"Morning" I replied.

My grandma opened her mouth to speak but I gently interrupted. "The answer is still no. I refuse to see _him_, grandma."

They both gave a frown before my grandmother shook her head. "Okay fine, but there's something else we'd like to talk about with you sweetheart." Getting out a bowl of Cinnamon toast crunch she knew was my favorite. Could she be trying to get on my good side? I half smiled.

"Okay…" I said, dumping a lot of cereal and spilling some milk into the bowl.

"Well, we would like you to take over the shop-" She smiled.

My eyes bugged out as I dropped my spoon. "W-what?.. But I don't know anything about it. I-It's just I wouldn't know what anything does or what to give the person when he or she asks for some like.. a remedy for good skin or something for good luck. I know I've just graduated but I don't think I ca-"

"It's okay! It's okay. Let me finish! I just meant as a summer job dear. It would help us a lot, and I could teach you about everything before you start." My grandmother said, looking at me with a look that would make me feel like a cruel person if I said no. Her aged eyes were so excited as she flipped over the eggs.

My grandmother was sweet. Her grey hair always tucked back into a small little bun with a few loose pieces that always cascaded down the side of her face. Her brown eyes were soft and surprising she looked very good for her age, must be all the remedies and stuff.

My grandfather on the other hand looked his age but let me tell you he had to be the strongest old man I have ever seen. He wasn't as fragile as he looked. The old man could probably pick up me, okay wait that's a bit of an exaggeration but you get the idea.

"Good, good! Go get dressed and we'll head down there in 15 minutes." My grandmother said shooing me off with a smile. I shrugged, going to pick out an outfit for the first day of a summer job. Hooray… I rolled my eyes. At least it was something to keep me busy and I wouldn't be stuck hiding in the house today.

Shoving on a comfortable shirt and some jeans, I was ready to go. My grandmother's shop was never crowded, but figured people still did go there. I sighed, changing my belly button piercing.

The belly button ring I had on was a gift from my mother. It was a turquoise nazar in the middle. The color popped out against my tan skin. We weren't Turkish obviously, but my mother's friend was and did believe it kept the bad away, and she got my mother to believe they worked. So my mother gave it to me.

I didn't believe it would do me any good but I still wore it on days I felt like I needed. You know, just in case it happened to _actually _be lucky. Today was one of those days I felt like I needed it. I switched out my purple earrings to light blue ones to match. The stud would remain since I didn't feel like changing it.

I quickly grabbed my i-pod with happened to be only half a battery full. It was old so lost battery fast. I went back outside slipping on some shoes before heading out to the car where I saw my grandma waiting.

The drive was silent and my grandmother was smiley, like extra smiley. I hoped that meant she was excited that I would be working at the shop and _not _because she had some trick up her sleeve.

"Mind if I listen to some music." I asked, looking at the radio on this old car wondering if it actually worked.

"Sure, as long as it's nothing to loud." She said, "Nothing like that crazy rap or heavy metal stuff everyone seems to be listening to." She made a face.

I half laughed looking through the stations for a good one. Hopefully I could find something that gran would mind listening to. I switched through lots of channels irritated.

"Oh, I like this song! I can't believe it's playing." She said. I shrugged and left the unfamiliar song on.

The good and bad thing about La push is the car rides are always short. In this case, I didn't mind. But I loved riding in cars. It was relaxing just to be able to sit and watch the world going on outside of the window.

She parked behind the little shop that I hadn't been to in three years. Slightly excited for some reason I opened the door eagerly, curious to see if it still looked like I remembered it. The outside looked different but that was probably because we were coming in through the back.

My grandmother unlocked the little shops back door and we stepped inside. "I usually keep the back door locked" She told me, and I realized I should be taking mental notes of what to do.

I nodded as we walked past the storage. As a little kid I was hardly aloud back here seeing as there were many jars and I wasn't that careful. Plus they had caught me eating one of her skin remedies once when I was five, which was okay to eat of course. But it made me really sick for a day or two.

They also had a little section of books about the history of Quileute and some other Tribes too and they had a whole other section I like to call, the voodoo section. It was the creepy part of it, little trinkets that where supposedly good luck.

It wasn't like salt or bones or anything like that. After all this was a Native American shop, not some old time New Orleans shop with beaded door and little stitched dolls you use to plot your revenge.

This place had more of a brighter vibe. It was more homey and welcoming. They sold thing here like little bracelets and necklaces which looked tribal but really only one of them had the actually Quileute tribal sign on it. So I guess that was just for the tourists if any even came through here. They also had dream catchers of all different sorts. I'm not sure but I think someone in my family probably made them.

"Okay so let's start." She said making her way over to the remedies shelf. Thank the spirits that this is a small shop because I can already tell I'm going to have to be cramming my brain with information.

* * *

I pointed to the little jars and unique bottles as I called out what they were used for. "Skin, hair, eyesight, mild sicknesses mostly the cold, child birth, burns." I said, she nodded.

"Oh _Pititchu_, you're such a smart girl. No wonder you graduated early." She clapped and I smiled, it felt nice to make my grandmother proud. I just wondered why she didn't label them. But obviously this meant a lot to her that I was helping out with the shop, so who cares if I had to memorize a few million things.

I opened the lid smelling the stuff inside. "It doesn't smell normal." I told her, wrinkling my nose a bit.

"That's because it's made up of all natural ingredients. I actually make them at home, I could teach you that sometime later." She laughed excitedly. I nodded, faking my enthusiasm a bit. "Oh but that one doesn't smell good. Try this one." She handed me a different jar.

"Mmm.. that one smells better" I said putting the lid back on it and putting back on the shelf.

"Okay now the next shelf." She said gesturing to the books.

"Legends of the protectors" I smiled, I'd have to read that over sometime even though I'm sure I know most of it. "Legends of the Cold ones, Legends of the Quileute Thunder bird. " I pointed to the last few books. "Legends of- oh, umm children's stories?" I smiled.

She nodded with a smile and I moved on to the next row. "And all the other legends in alphabetical order. Starting with the Absentee-Shawnee Tribe and ending with the Zuni Tribe. Categorized in larger groups of course" I smiled, rocking back and forth on my heels like the confident bitch I was. Well, I was just glad I did something right in La Push.

"Excellent! Okay let me show you the good luck charms and how to work the cash register" She pulled me along.

* * *

A whole hour.

Nobody's been in the shop for a whole hour.

My i-pods battery died. 30 minutes ago.

My mind was numbed with boredom. The paper in front of me was full of doodles mostly of wolves. I wonder if this was some creepy obsession I was having. I started to hum a song then I slowly started to sing the words.

I sang slowly one of my favorite bands, throwing my hands up. I exaggerated the words getting up swing my hips in a dancing manner although I don't think it could be called dancing. Nobody came in the last hour and I was completely sure that nobody would be coming anytime soon.

I sang louder and whimpered out of boredom.

I swirled around trying to make my dance a bit acceptable, swaying my hips just a bit too much. Then I froze.

Oh. My. god.

Paul Lahote was at the window.

He was smiling.

And I was dancing and singing like an _idiot_.

How long was he watching?

Kill. Me. Now.

If I wasn't so embarrassed, I'd be very pissed that he was here. If I wasn't so embarrassed I might have flipped him off or something. Maybe not. I still would have been mad though.

But I _was _embarrassed, immensely so. Sure he was an enemy and I didn't care what he thought but I didn't want to be laughed at or a joke between him and his friends or something. Oh god, I might have well walked outside naked.

So I settled on hiding behind the counter. Hoping he would just... go away. I didn't need this today. I didn't want to deal with anything today. My brain had been cramped with things about the shop then drugged with boredom.

The little bell of the door let me know that the wishes to be left alone were being denied. I peeked out from the side and saw him looking down with a slight smile.

"You don't have to hide, you know." He said, kneeling down so he was face to face with me.

I glared at him. " I wasn't hiding from _you_. I was just looking for my earring" I lied; I didn't want him to know I was a bit scared of him or that Neoma Blackfeather hid from anything anymore.

"None of your earrings are missing." He noted looking amused. "And you've been hiding from me for the past few days." His hand reaching out but dropped when I flinched. I didn't want him touching me.

I got up, "T-That's cause I found it.. duh." I said, standing behind the counter. "And I'm not hiding from you I just don't want to see you" I shifted, giving me a good space to run if I needed it.

I noticed how easy it would be for him to get away with murder in this little shop where apparently nobody ever came.

Did I really think Paul would murder me? Not really.

Did I think he could hurt me? Sure. He was Paul.

He could hurt me with just his words. Well, he used to be able to hurt me with just his words.

"Yea, locking yourself in your room isn't hiding at all." He grunted running his slightly shaking hand through his hair.

"What do you need, Paul?" I asked irritated and he frowned. I could hardly care if my attitude upset him. Although something in my mind tugged at me, telling me to make his frown go away. Which was weird. Really weird.

I should want to make him feel so bad, make him feel how I felt. Or at least something like that, I know I shouldn't wish that on anyone. But hey I'm human. I'm not going to pretend I'm this perfect selfless person because every human has flaws.

But I didn't like to hurt people even if it was Paul and I didn't even think could actually hurt him anyway.

"I wanted to come see you." He said, stepping closer and leaning on the counter. His eyes glancing down at my doodles and he shot another one of his creepy smiles. I slipped it off the counter putting it away.

"Well, you saw me. Now get out." I snapped and pushed his elbows off the counter, his frown deepened.

"I know you feel something for me, Neoma. Stop being so stubborn about it." He said.

"Excuse me?" My mouth dropped open. "Feel something for you?" I repeated in shock. The fact that he was haunting my dreams with the same attitude stunned me. He was an arrogant ass in both worlds.

His hand came out and cupped my cheek. It felt nice for a second, then my brain registered that this was not someone I wanted flirting with me. This was Paul. I shoved his hand away harshly.

I got from behind the counter. I could feel the warmth rush to my face due to anger. My fist clenched.

"Yea, Paul I feel something for you.. You know what it's called? Hate. I _hate _you. You keep saying things like you want to make it up to me and people say you're different. But there wrong, you haven't change your still the same manwhore. And for some reason part of your master plan is gaining my trust." I said pushing him back towards the door as I spoke.

"I'm not planning anything, Neoma." He growled. "How could you think that? I've told you I just want to make everything alright between us"

My mouth dropped open. What did the whole school and torture thing disappear? Did this boy hit his head or was he being serious?

"You want to know how could think that? Just because you say something doesn't mean I should believe you! You're seriously asking me that? Well you're not the first person I'd exactly trust with anything. Let's see, in the fifth grade you gave me a valentines card with a smile and stupid me opened it up to read. And do you remember what it said?"

I laughed sarcastically. Sure it was just a note. But I've never gotten a valentines card before and I though Paul was apologizing for being mean. In fourth grade they say if you pick on a girl you like her. How wrong was that!

He shook his head slowly.

"_Here's a card because it's probably the only one you'll ever get you ugly bitch_." I mimicked his tone poorly. In fifth grade I still used I never used the "b-word" as I would say. So the fact he wrote it down was more upsetting. He even had the nerve to underline it.

"Neoma. I-"

"Or how about sixth grade when got one of your friends to tell me there was a little gift in my locker. Then I find a box of opened tampons that had been soaked in kool-aid. I don't even want to know where you got them. And you know how long those jokes lasted? Do you?" I winced, remembering how everyone laughed until their stomachs hurt.

He shook his head, shaking a bit more and biting his lip. The tears seemed to actually form in his eyes. Though he didn't let them spill over. For whatever reason he was about to cry I was glad. I hoped he blubbered like a baby at whatever I said had gotten to him.

"Until you pulled the next prank and the one after that lasted until you found another joke to play on me.

He opened his mouth and I cut him off harshly.

"Not just the jokes. I was pushed, shoved, and slapped by you countless times. Or how about the day I tried to k-kill myself. You do realize my nose was actually broken and they had to pump my stomach for hours."

"That, Paul Lahote, is how I could think that." I finished breathing deeply, noticing I had made him back up as I gave my speech so he was right beside the door now. I didn't realize I had been crying too until the tears hit my collarbone. I wiped them away embarrassed.

That last part got to him, and he started shaking. Holy crap was he having a seizure or something? Is it normal for someone to shake that hard?

"Neoma…" He was going to try to convince me he was all different and I didn't want to hear it.

"_Kayhkuh! _[Get out!]" I shoved him out of the shop, I wasn't strong enough to actually make him do anything, but I guess the look in my eyes made him back off. I hardly ever spoke in Quileute unless I was extremely mad or for conversation purposes with family.

He was speechless and still shaking. Weather it was a problem or just a weird thing he does when he's upset, I did not care. I just shoved him a bit more and closed the door. I could still see him through the display glass.

He ran his shaking hand through his hair and was taking deep breaths as he embarrassedly wiped away some tears with his wrist and walked off.

Oh my god, Did I just make him cry?

Was he crying because I told him outright all the things he had done to me?

No, there had to be another reason. If that was the reason it meant Paul actually cared.

Paul didn't care about anything.

And since when has Paul ever shed a tear?

Not even when he broke his leg in the seventh grade.

I sat down on the floor thinking about the speech I just gave, running it through my head over and over. No, I wouldn't dwell on this. Paul deserves so much worse than a few tears. Yet, it felt so wrong as I thought of all the nasty things I could say to him, even though I was pretty offensive to him already.

That's when I noticed the open/close sign hadn't been on the right side. I sighed, flipping the little wooden sign so people would know we were actually open.

I looked down at my belly, pulling up the hem of my shirt and glaring at my belly button ring. "You are the farthest thing from lucky." I hissed then looked at my tattoo. I desperately wanted to see my wolf friend again.

* * *

**A/N: R & R please. I was a bit unsure about this chapter, so it would be great to have feedback. :)**


	5. She's Adorable and Furious

**A/N: Having a bit of writers block so here this Paul POV while I figure out what's going to happen. Warning: Paul tends to curse. Alot.**

* * *

_"Some call love a curse,  
some call love a thief  
She's my home  
And she's as much apart for this broken heart  
__But see broken bones always seem to mend"__  
__Angus & Julia Stone –Devil's Tears.  
_

* * *

Chapter 6: She's Adorable and Furious. _(Paul POV)_

Imprinting.

Fuck.

It's the best thing in the world.

It's also the shittiest thing in the world.

There are too many flaws with imprinting. All of which happened to apply to myself.

First was the fact that your imprint could hate you.

and damn did Neoma _hate_ me.

Just thinking about it made me shake slightly.

Two, you're imprint could totally freak out when you told her explode into a giant fur ball of a wolf.

Neoma accepted the wolf thing but when she finds out _I'm _actually the one exploding into the wolf. She's going to freak and let's face it I'm going to have to tell her someday.

There are many more problems I can't bring to mind at the moment because I can't get any fucking peace when my wolf is screaming at me to make everything right.

But it just isn't that simple.

I can't just say sorry and make it alright.

My imprint hated me, more than hated. _Despised _me with all her being and it was all my fault.

Why couldn't it be easier? Did life want to screw with me that much to make my soul mate the one person that hated me and could possibly never love me-

I heard a crunching sound as I looked down to see the wrench in my hand was snapped in half. I can't even finish fixing up my car in peace.

I'm fucking useless without her.

The anger started to rise in my chest. I wasn't sure who I was angrier at, myself for being one of the biggest jack ass;s or Neoma for being so stubborn.

I knew I could never be mad at her, such beauty. I was mad at myself definitely. I was so stupid.

The shaking started to rise with my anger, like it did most of the time these days.

I used to think myself a walking god, and when the transformation set in. Well, hell my ego shot high up. Now, it means nothing.

Nothing means anything without her.

God, I sound like such a pussy.

It's not fucking fair, why did the spirits have to choose the one person that could possible never forgive me.

I'd fight every day of my life for her to forgive me though.

Angered with the whole situation, I threw the two halves of the broken wrench smashing them on the ground with a loud _clunk_.

"Ugh.." I pulled at my unkempt hair as thoughts of Neoma never being forgiving me popped into my mind.

Fuck this, I have to see her again. Make it right somehow.

I snorted, reprimanding myself because that worked out _so _great the last time.

Locking up the house I set off walking to the Blackfeathers shop. Images of Neoma flashed through my head, like they have been doing constantly for the past few days.

I wish it was easy, that she could just fucking forgive me and that would be the end of it. But I knew I didn't deserve it. I didn't even deserve her, but I wanted her and her forgiveness. More than anything, her forgiveness.

"Yo Paul." A voice said, although I couldn't put my mind on where I was familiarized with it from. I turned around to see Joshua.

He was like the Paul Lohate of Shoalwater Rez, not as bad as I used to be though. He just was always partying, drinking, fucking, and starting fights and still living off his parents at the age of twenty-two. I think they didn't even allow him to step foot in Makah Rez after he drove down there to party. The fact that he drove about three hours to get there just to party baffled me. Then again, he was pretty stupid.

Although he couldn't fucking stand up to me. The funny thing is, even though I look like a twenty-five year old guy. I'm still only seventeen. I wondered if people viewed me like him. If Neoma saw me like this guy, a fucking screw up.

Not that I was like him in anyway. I was hotter of course. I lived on my own, sustained a job as keeping La push safe even if I didn't get fucking paid for that one. I got paid for fixing up people's cars cheap so they wouldn't have to go to that rip off store in Forks.

I wondered how Neoma viewed me. Then shook of the thought realized she only viewed me with hate so it couldn't have been good.

"Hey Josh, what's going on." I said wondering what he was doing up here.

He took a drag of his cigarette, which no doubt had some kind of illegal substance rolled into it. "Just visiting, family and shit." He rolled his eyes and offered me a smoke.

I shook my head, not that smoking did anything to my lungs it just didn't affect me as much anymore. Plus Sam would know if I did something like drink or smoke then bitch to the council and then I'd have to fucking patrol overtime because I had to be all good and perfect and shit. Not that it has stopped me before but I didn't want to waste any time that I could use to be proving to Neoma I was different. Fuck my life.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't a fucking werewolf.

"I'll catch you later" I said, cutting him off and walking away. I didn't have time to deal with shit heads right now. I needed to see Neoma.

* * *

It was like a fantasy as she moved. Swaying her little hips back and forth as her voice came out like honey and her eyes closed. She swayed to her own tune.

Her long hair brushed back and forth with each movement, I found myself smiling without giving my lips permission to do so.

Her beauty was unique with her big eyes that were as dark as her jet black hair. Her little straight nose and luscious lips. She was perfection, even before the imprint I had not missed her beauty. I was just too stupid to acknowledge it.

She swirled around and froze when she saw me. I suppose she was freaked out that I was watching her dance. She dashed off to the back of the little shop and hid behind the counter.

I've never thought of a girl as cute, most of them where hot or sexy or some words like that. True, Neoma was all of that. But she was also incredibly adorable.

Walking into the little shop, she peeked out from the side of the counter in time for me to catch her in the act of hiding.

I leaned down, a little closer to her face than I should have, but I couldn't resist. Her face was perfect. The way her eyes were oddly big, the color of her eyes seemed to bore into my soul and tug at the strings of my heart. The faint color under her eyes told me she had trouble sleeping too.

"You don't have to hide you know." I said, a little unsettled that she was crouching down behind a counter just so she wouldn't have to face me.

Her thin eyebrows formed into and angry expression and her plump lips pouted into an irritated grimace as she rose up.

"I wasn't hiding from _you. _I was looking for my earring." She lied, not well I might add.

"None of your earrings are missing." I told her. Now that I noticed it the piercings in her ear were hot. Everything about her was amazing.

"And you've been hiding for me for the past few days." I added, she didn't even want to see me. That's how bad it was. She was my imprint and she didn't even want to fucking see me.

She got up, looking insulted as she covered her little lie. " That's cause I found it …duh." She paused before continuing. Damn, she was so beautiful. "And I'm not hiding I just don't want to see you."

Holy shit, it felt like I had just been stabbed.

"Yea, locking yourself in your room isn't hiding at all." I swear I would've ripped down her bedroom door down by now if Mrs. Mekanna hadn't convinced me to give it time.

Though I didn't think time could fix what I had done.

Didn't mean I was going to give up though. I'd never give up.

Her lips quivered, not like she was about to cry. She just looked very irritated. "What do you need, Paul." She said, even though she hadn't said my name in the most loving way. She had still said it, and I loved it.

The way my name sounded coming from her…

Okay, not the time to think dirty.

Honesty is the best policy, they say. "I wanted to come see you." I said leaning on the counter like it was no big deal. What I said, was something I usually never say to a girl. Girls come to see me not the other way around.

"Well you saw me. Now, go."

Well, she's my imprint right. She's going to have to feel something for me. Emily had a crush on Sam before she knew about the imprint. The only reason she didn't announce it was for the sake of Leah.

Now I kind of understand why Leah is such a grumpy bitch. Too have someone you love, not love you. I know it was a whole different situation but I still had sympathy.

Fuck, I can't believe what I'm saying right now. Okay, going to keep these thoughts to myself.

"I know you feel something for me, Neoma. Stop being so stubborn about it."

The look on her face made me think I shouldn't have said anything.

She was pissed.

And adorable.

But very pissed.

"Excuse me?" Her face was angry and shocked. I don't know what emotion hurt me worse. The fact she was shocked that I could assume she even liked me a little or angry that I had just said that. "Feel something for you?" She repeated in surprise.

One last try, I cupped her face in my hand. Her skin was so soft and smooth. The fact that I was touching her sent a shock through me. She hesitated for a second which was good sign.

Then she looked at me like she wanted to kill me. Not such a good sign.

She shoved my hand away and got from behind the counter. Her face got red and I knew she wasn't blushing. She was seriously mad. Her tiny fist clenched and her little lips quivered. I wonder if she knew she did that when she was annoyed.

"Yea, Paul I feel something for you.." My heart swelled for a second. Then she had to continue. "You know what it's called? Hate. I _hate _you."

She had just stabbed me in the heart, with a big butcher knife, over and over again or at least that's what it felt like.

"You keep saying things like you want to make it up to me and people say you're different. But there wrong, you haven't change your still the same manwhore. And for some reason part of your master plan is gaining my trust"

This girl had a temper and it was still attractive on her.

I should be pissed, normally I would be but I just felt... heartbroken.

"I'm not planning anything, Neoma." I growled trying to cover the fact that her words made me feel like shit. "How could you think that? I've told you I just want to make everything alright between us"

She looked so mad that I should have just shut up. "You want to know how could think that? Just because you say something doesn't mean I should believe you! You're seriously asking me that? Well you're not the first person I'd exactly trust with anything. Let's see, in the fifth grade you gave me a valentines card with a smile and stupid me opened it up to read. And do you remember what it said?"

She laughed sarcastically, it was a laugh filled with hate and anger. She looked like she wanted to rip my head off but at the same time she looked sad.

I shook my head, not wanting to actually talk.

"_here's a card because it's probably the only one you'll ever get you ugly bitch." _She mimicked me poorly.

Had I really said that? I knew I had played pranks on her but how far did I actually go. She was the girl I loved. I'd get her a thousand cards if she wanted them.

I attempted to apologize. "Neoma I'-"

The tears were trying to escape her eyes. A little thing like that made me want to cry. Me, Paul Lohate, cry. What the fuck was wrong with fate screwing up my life.

"Or how about sixth grade when you got one of your friends to tell me there was a little gift in my locker. Then I find a box of opened tampons that had been soaked in kool-aid. I don't even want to know where you got them. And you know how long those jokes lasted? Do you?"

Oh god, I did remember that joke. It had been one of my friends idea's and fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I'm the worst protector in the whole fucking history.

I shook my head, not really sure I could speak anymore. Pain had closed up my mouth.

"Until you pulled the next prank and the one after that lasted until you found another joke to play on me."

I finally decided I should try to talk-

"Not just the jokes. I was pushed, shoved, and slapped by you countless times. Or how about the day I tried to k-kill myself. You do realize my nose was actually broken and they had to pump my stomach for hours"

That was it. I was the fucking worse person on the face of this earth.

My wolf reacted to this and I was pissed, at myself. I was torn in two. The sadness and the fury.

"That, Paul Lahote, is how I could think that." She said with tears streaming down her face.

"Neoma-"

She still wouldn't let me finish.

"_Kayhkuh!" _You know it's bad when a girl starts yelling at you in a second language.

She shoved me back and I don't know how I ended up by the door but I backed off as she slammed the door in my face.

Her face filled with tears, brought on tears of my own and I felt like such a wimp. The pain was too much.

Well, fuck.

I embarrassedly wiped my tears with a shaking hand and walked off.

Why the fuck did this happen to me.

I still couldn't think of what it would be like if I hadn't imprinted on Neoma. Sure, it would like before she came back.

Although, no matter how much it hurt. Deep down I was happy it was her. She was perfect and it pained me to think of my life without her in it.

I'm such a screw up. The only way I can have her in my life is if we're fighting. She is never going to want me to be around or hold her or touch her.

I started shaking, but I didn't resist it. Running to cover of trees the phasing took over and I shifted into my wolf form.

Thoughts of Neoma never ran over in my mind.

_Hey at least she loves your wolf form_. Collin said he had been passing by on patrol and heard the fight.

_Shut the fuck up, kid_. I warned not in the mood to talk or do anything. Being in wolf form seemed to always heighten my temper. The little twerp had the nerve to roll his wolf eyes and I couldn't take it.

I lunged for him, wanting to burn off all the pain.

_Stop. _Sam ordered even though he was on the other side of the forest.

_You can't fucking make me do anything. _I growled, but had to stop because he could make me do anything if you used his alpha order. Didn't mean I had to be nice. _You're a fucking tyrant not a leader._

That's enough Paul we know your upset abou-

Loads of profanities crossed my mind cutting off Sam's useless talking.

_Calm down. _Sam ordered again.

The order hurt worse because I couldn't calm down but I was forced to. My body was being forced to do something I couldn't have done on my own.

_Tyrant._ I thought before phasing back.

I took out my anger on the tree, punching it furiously. Little shards of wood stuck in my knuckles but healed quickly. I stopped when I figured I'd have to get the splinters out.

After putting on clothes (which we had stashed in various parts of the woods) I headed back to the house. I had night patrol and wasn't looking forward to it.

The house was empty, but that was the usual considering I lived alone ever since my grandmother died.

The house had no trace of them. My unknown father or my fuck-up mother. All the thing that had belonged to them where donated or burned. My grandma was the only one to actually give a shit and then life had to fucking take her away. My grandfather died when I was nine.

Because life is a bitch.

Fate is a bitch.

But Neoma's still adorable.

* * *

**A/N: Been stressing over this chapter. R & R please. **


	6. The Dreamlike Forest and Handsome Wolf

_"Flowers in the ground they wilt way_  
_Sun in the sky it fades away_  
_Make the funniest shapes from the cloud so grey_  
_the breeze in the trees they blow my way"  
_  
_"Zee Avi- Monte"_

* * *

Chapter 6: The Dreamlike Forest and Handsome Wolf

The house was too quiet as I woke up. A certain emptiness filled the air and I could feel it in the atmosphere that the house was deserted. My suspicions were proved correct as I peeped outside to check if the coast was clear of Paul. It was also clear of all life.

I never had noticed how dull this place was without my loving grandparents. Maybe it was just the loneliness talking, but the walls seemed to be a shade greyer. The lights seemed dreary as the only sound I could hear was the tick of a clock and my own breathing.

The little note on the table caught my attention before I could get any more alarmed about being alone. As I read it I could hear the wind chimes sing outside, and knew it was going to be a windy day.

_Neoma , here are the keys to the shop and the keys to the house too just in case we aren't back by the time you finish. Open up anytime, but no later than 1:00. Mrs. Clearwater usually comes around to pick up my skin remedy in the afternoon every week or so_. _Don't forget to lock the house up._

My eyes focused on the clock above the bookcase. It was 7 o'clock which gave me plenty of time to do whatever I wanted. Most kids my age wake up at one in the summer but I just guess I was more of a morning person. Some days I even woke up at six verifying that I have no life.

I smiled excitedly realizing I could see my wolf in my free time. Rushing back to my room I threw on the first things I could get my hands on, which were a pair of shorts (I was glad I had shaved last night) and a loose-fitting shirt with an owl design on it. Then I grabbed my sketch book which had a few blank pages left and a charcoal pencil.

Grabbing the keys I shoved them in my pocket resisting the urge to squeal in happiness. It was like I was going off to see a story time prince or one of the knights in a fairytale book.

I still had my doubts to whether my mind had imagined the whole thing. After all I had gone crazy already. it didn't seem so illogic that I was going crazy again.

I pushed the thoughts away and sped walked out of the back door only to have to turn around and lock the door almost forgetting to lock the house up.

The back of my grandparents' house lead to the forest like most houses in the La Push area. The council refused to let anyone cut down any trees and I think it was a marvelous idea. The forest was too glorious to be just cut down for paper and business.

I soon could smell the wet refreshing smell of the forest. It reminded me of my wolf even more even though he had more of a pleasant smell. The floor was all mushy and muddy so I guessed it rained early this morning.

"Umm.. Hello?.. " How do you call to anyone without knowing their name? "Wolfy." I laughed remembering that was what I called him the first time I had seen him. My voice travelled along the woods and I flushed embarrassed that I was calling out to a giant wolf, addressing him by 'Wolfy'.

Five minutes of walking and I had no idea where I was. The only things I could register at this point were green and brown. The branches covered up most of the blue of the sky only letting in enough light needed to see. Patches of light danced around the brown and green mush of a ground, I was enraptured beauty.

But I should have thought this through, I chided myself as I trudged on trying not to get my foot caught in anything.

Stupid Stupid me, walking out to the middle of the forest with no idea what to do. I had left my cell phone at the house which made me feel even more thoughtless. That thing was for emergency calls and I forgot to bring it while walking into the middle of the forest.

I sighed scratching at my skin, I think something was biting me. Misquotes maybe, this place was all wet and soggy but I didn't think it was warm enough for them.

The sound of running water caught my attention and listen to it as I tried to find it's source. The sound was so peaceful and the hum of the birds associated nicely with the smell of trees. Maybe it wasn't so bad to get lost here I thought as the I watched the little light that escaped the clouds and branches hit the ground. It was like the tree leaves and branches were a thin wall between reality and this heavenly place I was walking in.

I finally found the little stream and cupped some water in my hands. There were a few bites on my skin and I spread the cold water on it to sooth it. The weather wasn't too hot but walking had made me sweat a bit. I reached for a hair band that I usually kept around my wrist only to find I had forgotten that at home as well.

"Stupid me." I muttered taking my shoes off setting them aside then placing my art stuff on top of them like a little table. The thought of getting my art supplies all wet and muddy made me twitch. I walked into the little stream which only came up to my calves. The cool water felt good on my skin.

Too my luck I remembered I had shoved a hair band in my pocket some time ago. I dug around till I pulled out the little hair band and wound my hair into a sloppy bun.

The cold water felt good and I sighed closing my eyes. Again I listened to the sound of the water, forgetting about everything that was wrong.

It must have been another ten minutes I just sat there. I relaxed letting the little rays of sun that manage to get passed the cover of clouds and branches. With every breath I took I seemed more at peace. The drowsiness seemed to take over as I felt so relaxed it was making me sluggish.

I let out a little scream when I opened my eyes.

"Oh, you scared me!" I said, looking into my shapeshifters lovely eyes. He gave me one of his signature smiles. His fur was slightly frazzled and his eye looked tired. Was he having trouble sleeping too?

He walked over to me slowly and nuzzled his nose to my neck letting out a whimpering sound.

"Are you okay?" I asked concerned. He nodded nuzzled me closer to my chin causing me to giggle. "I'm kind of ticklish under my chin." I explained.

He smiled and nuzzled under my chin again, earning another laugh from me. I playfully pushed his head away.

"Umm you don't have to tell me, but I was just wondering what your name was. It would make it easier to find you" I said running my hand through his softer fur. Not to mention he couldn't exactly tell me his name. Maybe he scratch it in the dirt or something. He stiffened and I suspected it was because he didn't know what to say or how to say it.

"Umm how about if I just call you Wolfboy?" I laughed trying to make the tense atmosphere a little happier. It was too late to take the name back as it rolled of my tongue without a thought. Wolfboy dropped his guarded demeanor and shook his head up and down slowly agreeing to the ridiculous nickname.

He moved away and walked over by my shoes nudging my sketch book with his nose. Then turning to me for an explanation.

"Oh, .. that.. well" I looked down, would he think it was stupid? "I was going to ask. If I could draw you. I mean if you don't want it's perfectly fine."

He stood up like a bear would do in front of its prey but it actually looked more like a dog doing a trick. He raised a paw up in a model type way and winked at me with one of his big gorgeous eyes before resting on all fours again.

My laugh came out much louder than I'd like and I opened my sketch book. " Okay then. Ummm ..You have enough time? I mean it takes a lot of time and if you need to be-"

He shook his head and rested his head on his paws lethargically, letting me know he did infact have a lot of time. Wolfboy let out a yawn with displayed his rather sharp teeth. If he wasn't so gentle and nice I would have been scared.

"Wait turn your head like this." I slipped my sketch book under my arm and used my free hands to position his big head to the right a bit. It was always easier to draw from an angle. While setting his head in the direction I wanted it I caught a glimpse of his eyes.

The golden specks seemed to be even more stunning when the light hit it, such a contrast deep brown against little threads of gold. His unique eyes seemed oddly familiar. His eyes focused on me and I blinked looking away shyly.

"I-I love the color of your eyes." I stated. I had already memorize them so I could draw them when I got my hands on paint at home, which reminded me I needed to shop for some art supply.

I sat down, ignoring the damp feeling of the forest floor as I crossed my legs and place my sketch book on my lap. "Now, don't move" I ordered with a small smile.

I could hear the rumble in his chest and I smiled wider as I started outlining his face features, drawing the contours of his muzzle.

The time that passed as I drew seemed unreal, looking back and forth between the beauty in front of me and the drawing on the paper. He would often twitch or shift a bit and I would shake my head telling him to not move.

"I'm almost done." I said as I put the finishing touches on it. "But don't move yet!" I added quickly. He gave a wolf laugh as I would call it now.

I added some definition to his perfect eyes.

"Okay, okay I'm done." I held it up in front of me too get a better look at it. I made sure it was perfect before showing him the final outcome. Wolfboy trotted over by my side and rested his large head on my shoulder as he examined the drawing with me. I could feel his warm breath on my cheek.

"What do you think?" I asked, holding it up an inch higher for him to get a better look.

His response was one another one of his wolf laughs and a big lick to my cheek.

I laughed a whipped my cheek. "I'm guessing that means you like it?"

He nodded quickly.

"Thanks. You can keep it if you want. " I offered but he shook his head nuzzling his nose to my cheek. A bit glad he declined the offer because I didn't actually want to part with this particular drawing.

I sighed, "You don't want me to know your human form do you?" Thinking about how he would look when he was human. If he was old or young I knew the wolf side of him but hardly knew the human side of him. I didn't think I had seen him before; he probably lived out in the forest in a cabin or something. I wondered if him and his pack came into contact with people on the reservation.

The wolf stiffened at my sudden question and shook his head.

"Is it like a rule, that you can show your human Identity?" I asked quietly hoping I wasn't looking stupid. The legends didn't tell you every detail, to think of it I only really know the basics and whatever Wolfboy has told me. He shrugged and I couldn't tell if that answered my question.

"You can trust me you know. It doesn't matter, I enjoy your company and if you don't want me to know then I won't pry" I assured him, maybe on day he'd trust me enough to let me know him in human form or did the rule last forever?

He exhaled relived and shot me a smile, I smiled back.

"You'd say we were friends right?" I looked down feeling a bit foolish my smiled fading. I fiddled with the hem of my shirt with my free hand.

I looked up and saw him nod making my smile comeback.

He nudged my cheek with his nose playfully and I giggled wrapping my arms around his neck burying my face into his fur. "Thanks."

The rumbling in his chest came back making me shake as well.

The shaking caused a jingling in my pocket and I looked down to see the keys.

"Oh! What time is it? I was supposed to open the shop!" I said franticly, closing my sketch book and looking at him.

"Erm, sorry Wolfboy but I have to open my grandparents shop." I explained, looking at him apologetically.

He whimpered and patted his head. "Don't worry I see you sometime, right?" I asked, wondering if it would be harder to find him next time.

He nodded and I smiled. But my smile faded when he kneeled down. "Oh no! Not doing that again." I said rushing off in the direction of the house, but he caught the back of my shirt with his teeth before I could get too far. We stayed like that for a moment until I gave in.

"Oh fine!, you're so pushy." I said climbing on his back and holding on tight squeezing my eyes shut. It was temping to keep my eyes open, but I was scared I'd get something in my eyes as he ran.

The feeling was exhilarating when I he was running I had to admit. Kind of fun, like and amusement park ride.

It took us longer than I thought to get back to the house; I peeked a few times which only made me dizzy and hurt my eyes. I wondered if it hurt that I was holding onto his fur tight. Was it like pulling hair? Nahh, He fights vampires for a living you've got to be more durable for that kind of thing.

When I looked up we were at a unfamiliar part of the forest. I recovered from the temporary dizziness and slipped off his back. I wobbled a bit as he nudged me forward in a direction I was unfamiliar with. Wolfboy nudged me forward until the edge of the forest stopped and civilization begins.

Then I realized he had taken me to the street just before my shop. I smiled. "Thanks wolfboy. How'd you know where it was though?" I asked while I ran my finger through his hair earning a purr-like reaction I had grown accustom to hearing. It was now a comforting sound.

He rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders oddly. I guess he had to know where everything was in La push in order to protect it.

"And thanks for more than that. "I paused kicking a little piece of a twig timidly. "This is going to sound really lame but I really haven't had any friends before so ya.. and well.. okay you get it. I'm going to go now. Bye" I half ran to the street out of the cover of tree's my cheeks reddish tint with slight embarrassment.

I paced down the sidewalk, slowing down when I got closer. The shop was the only one on the street that hadn't opened up for the day and I worried I was really late as I unlocked the front door.

I rushed in looking around the room for the clock.

1:09

Okay, so I was only a few minutes late, had I really been with Wolfboy that long?

Oh god, what kind of name was wolfboy!?

Had I really came up with that? And he agreed to let me call him that! I shook my head laughing a bit.

I turned on the lights and air-condition then flipped over the little wooden sign to open. Okay, so now I just got to wait until people actually show up. Hopefully.

I shuffled through stuff trying to find something to keep me occupied. I walked over standing on my tippy toes to reach the shelf with the Quileute books on it.

The book came down along with half the stack and I silently cursed. I hated having to clean up things.

The bell chimed and I looked up to see a girl who looked my age but taller of course. She was obviously Native American but I had never seen her on the reservation before.

Her hair was a few inches past her shoulder and it was died a lighter brown towards the ends. Little freckles scattered on her skin. I was a little jealous of her, she had a unique beauty. That was the difference. I was oddly different, nothing exciting to look at.

"Oh let me help you with that." She offered, helping me pick up some of the books. Her voice had a little accent but I couldn't tell if that was just the way she talked. It didn't sound too heavy, just slightly different. I wondered if she was full blooded Native American or if she had some other ethnicity in her.

"Thanks" I said, she placed the books on the shelves with ease seeing as she was normal height.

"What can I help you with?" I asked, noting she was my actual first costumer since I started.

"My grandma sent me here to pick up a jar of each of what she calls Mekana's Magic, she wants me to pick up almost everything" The girl laughed and shook her head as she looked over the jars.

"I'm Kaylani by the way but call me Kay or Lonie" She giggled picking one of each jar.

"Neoma, erm – Just Neoma." I shrugged. "Are you from around here?" I instantly figured she would have to live close if she knew my grandmother.

"No, actually I'm from the Shoalwater Rez. But my family and me comes to visit every once and a while. We're here for the week but I haven't seen you here before" She said placing a lot of jars on the table.

I stiffened, still not comfortable with talking about my visit. But she didn't ask why or anything. She had just said she didn't see me around "Yea, I just moved back a few days ago."

"Oh" She smiled, didn't push for a reason and went back to looking at the jars.

"You have anything for hair?" She asked, and I nodded reaching for the jar that was filled with oily looking substance.

"Okay I think I have enough to last us for a life time" She said setting a bunch of jars on the table.

I rang the jars up from the corner my eye I saw a guy, in a shirt with jeans that had rips on the knees, looked like he fell a lot. He also had skater shoes on, he waved and I couldn't tell from the distance but I think he winked. It was odd because the he looked more like a man and the clothes he wore didn't seem to suit his age.

Kaylani noticed my confusion and followed my gaze back to the guy. "Oh ignore him. My brother Joshua is such a flirt and he's not too polite about it."

I just nodded, unable to reply.

The expression on my face must have been a cross between surprised and freaked out. I've never been flirted with especially in blatant way Joshua seemed to be showing it. The fact that he looked a good five years older was a bit unsettling too.

The way he looked at me sent shivers down my spine, not in the good way either. He walked funny like he was trying to get something out of his pants and I thought he might have had a disability until I realized he was walking like that to look cool.

"Need help with those bags." He said to his sister when he entered the shop, something about the way he talked made me want to hide. He was pretty big, not as big as Paul or the boys from the bonfire. He was just bigger than me. Who am I kidding everyone is bigger than me.

"Sure, make yourself useful." Kaylani grunted handing him a bag as she took one. Being an only child I couldn't tell if Kay genuinely disliked her brother or she was just that way with him because they were siblings.

"Have a nice day." I shrugged, putting the money in the cash register.

Kaylani smiled, while Joushua licked his lips and winked before leaving.

_Creep._Was the only thing I could think as I went back to rearrange the tribal books.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter is going to be posted in two parts. The next one will continue from where we left off.  
& I actually got my ears pierced like Neoma's well kind of. haha okay yea, I know that was a bit pointless..**

R&R!


	7. Oddly Sweet Psychotic Smiles

_Well I've lost it all, I'm just a silhouette,  
A lifeless face that you'll soon forget,  
My eyes ae damp from the words you left,  
Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest."  
"Daughter- Youth"_

* * *

Chapter 7: Oddly Sweet Psychotic Smiles.

The shop had remained empty for the past half an hour and I had rummaged through every bit of this place to find something to keep me busy. Trinkets and nick-nacks seemed to overflow most of the boxes in the storage area.

Lots of them I had put on display after calling my grandmother to check if it was okay. She said it was, which made me wonder what they were doing gathering dust in the back. How could you excpect them to sell it if it wasn't even on display?

The jack pot was the little box in the way back of the room. Full of books, not sure what they were doing there but they were just fictional. So I guessed they were what my grandmother used to keep busy because none of them were tribe related. Looking over the books she had seemed to be a good selection and interesting enough to consume my time.

The little bell chimed and I hoped it wasn't that Jousha guy. He had been checking out the store every now and then like it was nothing. Not that anyone would go to the trouble of stalking me, but who actually just walked back and forth down blocks for the fun of it. Unless he was trying to exercise which was unlikely. He could at least have used a skateboard or kite or something to look less obvious.

But I had a feeling, between the winks and the lip licking, that he wasn't trying to hide anything. It was plain on his face. The way he thought of it, I was a piece of meat. The sound of footsteps in the shop made me realize that I forgot someone had came in. Please, Please, Please not be Creepy Joshua.

" Good afte-" I peered from the side of my book slowly. " Oh it's you." I exhaled a relived breath, looking away from Paul and back to the book I was reading.

"No wonder nobody comes here anymore, is that anyway to treat a customer?" He was joking but I could see the hurt in his eyes. Or should I say the false hurt in his eyes. Whatever plan he was working on I did not want to be a part of it.

"Buy something or get out." I said returning to the book even though I was unable to concentrate on a word now that I was in the presence of the enemy. The slight sleep diprived look on his face gave that he was up all night. Probably parting or fucking both of which I did not care.

"Fine then," I peered over my book and saw him walk around the tiny place. He turned over to me with a smug smile using a false dumb-like tone as he picked up a jar. "Umm I'm sorry miss but I could you explain to me what this is for?"

I was bothered with him already. The jar was made up of white cream like stuff that what used to enduce child birth with some magical substance. I rolled my eyes. " It supposed to induce Child-birth. Do you need it for yourself or did you knock up Rachel." I snorted, pretending to go back to my book. Even though I wasn't so keen on insults. I still tried my best to offend him.

"Rachel?" He said confused and unharmed by my discourtesy.

"You know, that girl you were with the year I left." I said, god how I hated her. With her face full of makeup and skirts that were shorter than her underwear. Rachel was like the queen bee, the heartless bitch, the head honcho. When Paul wasn't torturing me she sure as hell was.

"Oh.. I don't even remember." He said like he couldn't care less, putting the jar down with a frown.

"Of course you don't" I muttered receiving another glare from him. Paul probably couldn't remember half the girls he was with. Let alone some girl he was with three years ago.

"What does this one do?" He held up another one examining it. The look on his face told me he hoped it wasn't something as awkward as the first jar.

"It's for burns and- you're going to do this for every item, aren't you?" I glared at him now. His little smile tugged at my heart, which was an odd feeling. It was like reading the last book of a series that you love, horrible but amazing at the same time. But surely, I couldn't care less about Paul.

He nodded harshly and grinned haughtily.

"Just look around and pick something out." I ordered trying to concentrate on the book for the millionth time. The book would hold no interest to me until Paul left.

"What are you reading?" He asked examining the cover that had the name plastered in big letters on it.

"I'm not going to talk to you." I stated putting my feet on the counter and tilting my chair back precariously but carefully.

"_The Host_," He read the cover. "is it good?" He asked ignoring my previous answer.

"Ugh…" I snapped it shut and glared at him he stared back, and something inside of me broke a little in awe. His face was obviously still the same, but there was something different. Like when you read a book and the author explains it in a second characters perspective and you get a whole new idea on the situation.

It was like his whole form changed. Yes, I still saw him for the mean manwhore he was but it was like he had a certain kindness woven in his features. Like a basket or blanket with a few different color threads woven into it. His lips always pressed into a hard line when he was frustrated, which I noticed was mostly around me.

His eyes were the weirdest part. It was déjà vu, like a little part of my mind was screaming to remember something. Something that was vitally important.

"You look like you've been having trouble sleeping." He noted, snapping me out of my concentration and I turned my face uncomfortably. I nodded fiddling with the keys, not sure why I answered. My response would entice him to talk more.

"Why is that?" He asked.

"Paul, stop. Buy something or leave me alone." I said and he scowled again looking through the tourist necklaces and dream catchers.

"Fine, I'm going to buy something. " He examining them. "What do girls like?"

I raised an eyebrow and shrugged uncaringly. "I don't know, Paul. Why don't you ask the skanky girl you're probably getting it for." I said, fed up with him already. Insults did not come naturally to me and I probably sounded like a five-year old.

"She's not skanky, I think she's pretty and modest." He said nonchalantly.

Just then my chair decided to make me look like a complete idiot by losing it's balance and I fell over with a big thud like sound. My back conected with the back of the chair as the force of the fall knocked the air right out of my lungs.

Paul had called a girl modest? I never have seen Paul with a girl that could be considered modest or any word like that. His types were the big boobs and no brain kind of girls.

Maybe he thinks she's modest because the farthest she'll go is a hand job. Yea, that's probably his definition of modest. I humored myself.

"Are you okay?" He reached over to me, pulling me up. I shrugged and sat back in the chair.

"Whatever Paul." Hiding the embarrassment of falling over and looking like a cat that had been shot with water.

He set the little dream catcher to the counter. He had picked the one with black feathers hanging off of it and little deep purple beads, my favorite one. Damn him, I looked at him as he waiting for something.

"7 dollars." I said, typing it up on the stupid old register. Each click annoyed me and that stupid ring when the cash box opened. Plus some of the keys were broken so you had to push harder on it to actually type it in. I wondered why we needed this thing.

I also wondered who this modest girl was. The one that actually made Paul go to the trouble of getting her something because Paul wasn't a gift kind of guy. He was the 'sleep with me and that's gift enough' kind of guy.

"Something wrong?" He still had that stupid smug smile on his face as he handed me the money.

"Nothing, would you like me to put it in a little gift bag." I don't know why it bothered me so much. I didn't give a fuck what Paul did.

I set it aside and assumed it was curiousity that bothered me.

Because who could not be curious about the local man-whores "modest" girl. When the he's been with the 99% of the sluts on the Rez.

"Sure. I think she'd like that. " He looked like he was about to laugh. He probably thought I would get jealous. Girls on the Rez would most defenitly be jealous. But I hated him so it was different.

Paul Lahote calling this mystery girl modest and buying her a gift. I'd bet a hundred dollars all the hoe's in school would be dying to figure out who she was.

Sure I've noticed the effect of Paul's good looks. It gets him anyone he wanted now I actually felt bad for this poor mystery girl. If she was modest (which I doubt) she might have been too innocent to catch on to his evil ways.

Paul Lahote may be attractive but with his cruel words and years of tortue I had learned the truth quite quickly.

Paul was ugly on the inside.

Buying gifts for a girl doesn't sound like a ugly thing though...

I bit my lips picking out a little bag from under the counter putting the little dream catcher into it then handing it to him.

The bell chimed again and Mrs. Clearwater made her way in, she looked much different. Her black hair was graying and the lines that formed around her face seemed to be a result from stress. Because Mrs. Clearwater did not look that old when I left. The loss of her husband must have had aged her.

She gave a small smile at both of us. "Hello Neoma" She nodded, " Hello Paul" Her smiled seemed sincere. The exhaustion in her voice sounded like it was more than sleepless nights. She looked like she was in physical pain. I don't remember Mrs. Clearwater liking Paul at all. None of the council members liked Paul or anyone he hung out with. He was trouble for the council, and I still didn't get up what was up with the whole Paul helping out with the council.

Paul gave me a smug smile that I wanted to slap right off him face before turning around and leaving.

"So you've gotten to see Paul again, that's good. He's a good boy really, just a bit troubled." She mumbled as she looked through the jars until she found the one she wanted.

I half laughed. The whole situation of Paul helping out with the council. Everyone saying a lot of words that shouldn't be in the same sentence like 'Paul' and 'good'.

She gave me a little amused smile , that didn't reach her eyes, setting down the jars on the table. " He won't admit this but he really helped Seth deal with losing his father. He has a side that most people don't know about." She said looking almost proud.

My half laugh had been wiped off my face the only thing I could manage at this point was a nod.

Paul was mean, He was heartless. Right?

_Right?_

"Oh, that's good.. and I-I'm really s-sorry for y-your loss." I stuttered over my words.

The problem with me is I didn't know how to talk about emotional things.

Especially death.

I couldn't even talk about when my class hamster died. Which I suspected Paul had killed, even if he didn't I would still blame him. It was first grade and all the girls where crying. '_He was so cute_' and '_I loved him_' as if Mr. Fufflyballs (Which we had no idea sound oddly perverted for a hamster name) was there life long soul mate.

Me? I was just sitting there waiting for everyone to calm down. When my parents tried to comfort me at home, I just awkwardly hugged them and changed the subject.

Then last year, by Lake Tahoe. One of my mothers friends died and the funeral had me crying although I held it in for the most part. I hardly ever cried in front of people especially a big group of people. Even though I hadn't known the lady well, I was sorry. But after that day, I couldn't talk about it and when my mom brought it up I awkwardly asked to leave the room. After I gave my condolences to the husband I never talked about it again.

When the husband and my parents went into the emotional talk of her death. I awkwardly left the room as if to give them privacy. But in reality I couldn't deal with the emotions of loss. Sure I could think about it, but talking about it had me like '_ermmm uuhh it's going to be okay.'_ Awkward and stuttering.

I put the jars in a paper bag and handed them to Mrs. Clearwater mechanicly. Maybe I was awkward about the subject of death because it reminded me of my suicide attempt. Or maybe it was because I was an awkward person.

"Tell your grandmother I said hi. And that we'll be bringing the deserts for party on Friday." She said before leaving not even giving me a chance to respond.

Wait, what party?

* * *

The day dragged on long after that. Mrs. Clearwater mentioning a mystery party had made me wonder enough to pass the time. The only person that came in after that was Mrs. Conweller and damn could that lady talk. I mean in the ten minutes it took her to pick up all the jars she needed I knew her life story. She even talked about her daughter Kim and said she would be at the party Friday. Which I still had to ask my grandparents about.

Closing up the shop I remember I had to lock both front and back doors, as I slipped on a jacket that I had luckily forgotten yesterday. The wind had picked up and I wanted to hurry up and lock the front so I could get home.

The drunken laughs had caught my attention almost instantly as I whipped my head around to look at a group of men, falling over each other. One of them was Joshua and I instantly knew nothing good could happen if I didn't get out of here.

He started stumbling after me. I fiddled with the keys looking for the one to lock the front door. Shoving one after one trying to get it right, but the more I worried and more frantic I got the worse the keys situation got.

_Fuck this_! I'd have to lock it up later, I turned to make a run for it only to be pressed up against the glass by Joshua. The pungent smell of alcohol mixed with some shitty cologne smell made me want to puke.

"Hello baby" He said, dragging out the 'y' his voice sent sickened shivers down my body.

"Get off me." I pushed him back, failing to actually get any space in between us. He was leaning his body against me, not using force. He was just to big compared to my petite size for me to actually move him.

"She's pretty" One of them said, as the other one was just drunkenly smiling at me. The fear crept down my bones as I realized not only did this guy have the advantage of his size, but now I was out numbered.

His breath on my face reeked of liquor and bad dental hygiene. His swaying hand reached out to cup my face and it felt as if his hand was a bug and I didn't want it touching me anywhere. Slowly his hand crept down my body as I struggled to get free. I could feel his hand trying to slip down my shorts. I grunted and pushed against him only to have him lean harder against me. My arms slipped out and I wanted to slap him put I had to focus on keeping my shorts from being pulled off.

"You know you want this." He said, his hands tugging the hem of my jeans trying to pull them down but I used my hands to keep them up which he failed to notice is why they wouldn't come off. His hand couldn't undo my button because of how intoxicated he was.

"Get off of me." I yelled, as he quit trying to get my shorts off and shoved his hand up my shirt to grope my breast. Good thing he was probably to drunk to undo a bra hook.

I closed my eyes his weight began to be horribly heavy as I was being crushed between the wall and his body.

Then he was gone.

Air rushed back into my lungs as I could now breath and move. All I could comprehend was that Joshua had been ripped away from me and was now on the ground with Paul hovering over his drunken body.

"Don't you ever put a hand on her again." Paul yelled, the tone in his voice could make someone piss themselves just by hearing those few words. That associated with the look on his face would make me what to hide. Paul seemed to be soaking in anger, he was shaking from head to toe.

Josh rolled over a wavered as he attempted to regain his balance. " Woah, Paul man w-we were just having some fun.. we could have shared." The words came out like mush as he talked as fast as his drunken mouth could. Joshua obviously feared Paul.

Paul didn't reply he simply just snapped his hand back and punched Joshua straight in the jaw. My eyes widen as I heard a sick crunch and a garbled cry. When I punched Paul his face had been like a rock, so I had no doubt that his fist could break through a cement wall or something.. like Joshua jaw.

It was unnecessary but Paul kicked the Jousha Creep in the stomach as if to get his point across.

"You all leave, get sobered up before I decide to break your faces too." He roared to the others did that odd shaking thing.

He grunted and I heard the cry of one of the other boys before I actually saw Paul punch straight in the nose out of anger. Obviously they hadn't left fast enough for Paul. "Fuck you." He spat at him still obviously outraged, leaving Joshua making this garbled gasps and spitting up blood and Joshua's friend crying like a baby, but it seemed he was too drunk to feel the pain. He was crying cause he was scared. Joshua was definitely too drunk to feel the pain, the only think that alerted him was that he couldn't breath as he coughed up blood and his jaw shot out at a weird angle. Honestly I it looked like a horror movie set.

Paul was shaking, hard and uncontrollably like he was having a seizure. That was until he glanced over at me. The weird thing is he smiled, he had just broken someone's jaw someone's nose and threatened a group of people and then.. he smiled at me.

Like a little twitch of pulling at the corner of his lips.

That's when I realized _I _was smiling.

Why was I smiling.

What kind of sick person smiled among all this chaos? Both of our smiles faded when Joshua's ghastly and garbled laugh echoed down the streets. He must have had a whole bottle of vodka not to feel that. The murderous look came back onto Pauls face.

"I suggest you get to a hospital. Or lay here and die I don't really give fuck." He said to them as he ran back over to me.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly, scooping me up. The whole time I had been sitting on the concrete. Fear can make a person very unobservant.

"I'm f-fine. I can walk." I stated struggling against his hold. He finally gave up and set me on my feet. The sidewalk seemed to wobble beneath me and my knee's gave in. He caught me before I could fall.

"_I'm fine. I can walk_." He mimicked me in an abnormal girly tone making me give out a breathless laugh before cutting off a bit insulted.

"I do not sound like that." I tried to look scary. But let's face it after that mask of a murderous glare he had gave Josh I concluded I would never look scary next to him. "What were you doing out here anyways."

He hesitated for a moment. "Night watch kinds of thing. Helping the council keep the communities' safe and stuff."

I wasn't convinced.

But Paul had just saved me from a traumatizing experience so I wasn't going to inquire. Hey, maybe it really was a council thing. I didn't really care what reason he was out here, he could have been fucking the modest mystery girl out here and I wouldn't care. It was his business and like I said. I wanted nothing to do with him.

"Oh, Does la push really even need that." I asked rolling my eyes. because the crime rate here was practically a zero.

"It does, if we want to keep pretty little ladies like you safe." he said, mimicking a southern accent and tipping his invisible hat. I laughed , but covered my mouth. I never seen Paul act like that then I caught that he called me pretty.

"A-Are you flirting with me?" I asked, because the world was really going crazy if two guys where flirting with me, and one of them happened to be the guy I hate and the other one was a drunken bastard.

I realized I must have sounded stupid as the words left my mouth. I was nothing special, Paul had made me painfully aware of myself. Then to ask Paul himself if he was flirting with me, well how stupid could I be. His reply was probably going to be like. '_Never'_ or '_who would flirt with you?'_

Paul was more for those perfect girls. It's not like I haven't noticed his perfection, which he used to get what he wanted. The fact that he thought he was all that made me sick.

"Maybe, only if you don't punch me I am."

I glared at him but didn't care. Paul flirted with most everyone so it wasn't a big deal. Flirting was just his way of talking with girls.

I grew uncomfortable being in Paul's arms. His hold was tight, not in a hurting way but in a creepy sexual way or like you would when you were holding something delicate like a flower. But as long as he kept his hands away from my ass I wasn't going to through a fuss.

He set me down when we were outside of my grandparents house.

I mumbled a thank you and looked away from his face.

"What?" a smirk played around the corner of his lips.

"Thank you." I said later his smirk vanished and was replaced with such a sincere look, it scared me more than his angry face, because he never looked sincere it was a foreign look on his face. At least to me it was.

"Don't thank me, I will always protect you no matter what." He said deeply before turning around and dashing off before I had time to even register what he was saying.

The words jumbled around in my head.

"_What was that supposed to mean?!_" I yelled after him a moment too late. Why would he say something? Was he playing with my mind again. But the street was empty and I was yelling to myself.

I took a few seconds to collect myself. The thought of what might have happened today sent shivers down my spine. The lights were on in the house and I wondered if I should mention this to my grandparents.

The wind started to annoy me and I wiped my shoes on the welcome mat shaking my head. No, I wouldn't tell them. They didn't need to worry about what have might of happened. Kaylani said they were only visiting for a week. So Joshua wouldn't be here for long.

The talk about a party flooded through my mind and I remembered what I had been wanting to ask my grandparent

"Grandma? Grandpa? What's everyone talking about a party?" I called as I unlocked the door with the keys that were on the keychain.

"Oh, I wanted to be the one to tell you. We're just having a little get together with friends and family. Since you're back in town. It was Uncle Jay's idea."

Okay, now I know that sounds nice, but if you've been in my family you'd know nothing is little when it involves getting together.

Don't get me wrong, I love my family. There all really sweet and close to me but when they decided to have the whole family over it gets crazy. Uncle Jay invites his friends, my cousins tag along with their friends. Then it ends up a crowded place full off ten different family lines. Most of La Push is going to be in our back yard.

Did I mention my family loves seafood? The whole house is going to smell like fish for days. We usually had the family get togethers at my grandparents' house so I didn't have to worry about my stuff. But what if one of my little cousins decided to ditch a plate of fish in my room or something.

Walking back to my room I stripped my clothes off, hoping the gagging smell of Joshua didn't attach to my clothes.

I slipped on some comfy pj's and hoped into bed when my eye's went wide.

Upon my bed was a small gift bag, the one's we had at our shop with a note attached to it.  
_  
Neoma,_

_Hope this helps you get some sleep._

_-Paul_

I lifted up the little dreamcatcher with black feathers hanging from it. Confusion in my eyes.

I was the modest mystery girl?

What in the world was Paul Lahote up to?

* * *

**A/N: Hope it was worth the wait. I was really nervous about it so R&R! :) **


	8. They're Giving Kids Tattoos Now?

_"And I've been meaning to say this to you,  
__My heart isn't black and blue anymore,  
__And your words don't mean a thing,  
__When they're sung in vain,  
__Maybe I was wrong,  
__I only remember feeling so alone"_

_"Black +Blue - Christina Perri"_

* * *

Chapter 8: They're Giving Kids Tattoos Now?

Today was going to be a long day

A very, _very_ long day.

I looked at the many faces of people crammed into our little house. Kids hopping and running around while their parents tried to get them to eat. The girl cousins gossiping, talking about school. The boy cousins trying to steal a few beers out of the ice chest. And of course all of their friends tagging along.

The house was getting too crowded for my liking, so I decided to head outside. I bumped into most of the people. Everything was so loud and chaotic, as there seemed to be no room to breathe or move. Maybe I was developing a bit of Closterphobia.

I bumped into a familiar face on my way out to the door. "Hey Seth." I said, and he smiled. That cute child-like smile that made me want to pinch his cheeks.

I noted that he didn't have a shirt on, but that's not what caught my attention. (Eventhough he looked too well built for his age) but he also had a tattoo. Which was also a bit odd for his age. I've seen teenagers with tattoo's. Hell I have one, but that was easy to get when you were in a city. La Push had no tattoo parlors. You had to go to all the way to Seattle to get to one.

So maybe he got a tattoo. But it was a tribal tattoo, last I heard nobody got those anymore. How would he even find someone who knew how to make it authentic? Why would a fourteen year old kid get a tattoo of a tribal symbol. Last I remember as school nobody even seemed to know the legends, well. Like they had no Idea of the history.

Which was weirder was I swore I could have saw it one of the other people that Seth hung out with.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to stare. It's just.. erm.. cool tattoo." Because I did like the actual, the tattoo was entrancing and well done.

"Thanks" He said shifting uncomfortably like he was exposed but he never lost the carefree demeanor.

"W-Where did you get it done?" I asked, trying to keep up a carefree attitude.

"Umm one of the council members" He said, then his demeanor dimmed a bit. " It a tribal thing, there trying to keep up the spirit of our culture."

"Hah." No way. The council is giving out tattoo's to kids now? Sounds like something Paul would approve.

"Yea, oh look there's Paul go talk to him" Seth said, obviously nervous at my question. He half shoved me off, into more people until I was face to face with Paul. More like face to chest, because of the height difference, but you get it.

Once again my thoughts were being redirected over my main curiosity.  
I hadn't gotten to talking to Paul, well not really. As much as awkward stuttering went...

* * *

_The glass window seemed rather hard to clean, especially considering I needed to get a ladder or a stool to reach the top. Which we didn't have."Need help with that?" Paul said suddenly making me jump._

_I dumbly __nodded my posture ridge. I probably would have looked like a statue if it wasn't for my heartbeat and the erratic moving of my chest._

_He raised an eyebrow, grabbing the cloth and windex out of my hand when I didn't respond._

_"Are you okay?" He asked as he reached the top with ease._

_"I- uhh, yes." I answered._

_"Well I'll see you tomorrow." He said with the same smirk Paul always has._

_"t-Tommorow?" I asked._

_"The party." He smiled handing me the stuff back._

* * *

It wasn't my fault, he decided to make it all confusing with his nice act. In a way, it was much scarier feeling. Like he could be up to something, and I would be clueless.

But I had to theories to his recent behavior. All very different, all very possible.

Theory One: it was my main and first conclusion about why Paul was suddenly wanting to be nice and gain my trust. Simply to destroy me again. Eight grade, Molly Gilbert. She was a new student, transferred from one of the tribal schools down in Arizona or someplace like that.

She had been a sweet young girl, pretty but terribly clumsy awkward and had a lisp. Therefore (by highschool rules) earning her a socially outcasted status. Which brought up the bet on how long it took Paul to get the shy innocent girl into his bed.

I tried to tell the girl, but just earned a "you're jealous" and "you're just saying that cause he hates you". So I let it go, and she got what I told her would come.

Theory Two: Unlikely but considering the circumstances possible. Paul had been abducted by aliens and brainwashed into thinking he needed my forgiveness. Well, that theory was a bit fantasized.

Theory Three: The last, and hardest to comprehend. Paul had changed, into a person that was trying to make amends. He was hell bent on earning my forgiveness so he could feel like a better person. That was the only way I could think of it.

But my confusion and theories weren't the only reason I had been awkward with him.

My dreams.

They were getting worse.

Mostly they had been about Paul taking Joshua place. There was no one to stop him, and Paul succeeded to break me once again. He haunted me every night in my sleep, but the scariest part.

Half way through I started to like it.

In my dreams, which let me state I have no control over, he would touch me, place kisses on my neck. And I would stop struggling, then we'd.. well, that's the scary part.

"Hey" He smiled.

"H-Hi" I stuttered and flinched.

He took a step closer, which made me uneasy. God, why is he this tall? I had to really look up to him.

"Are you okay?.. you've been seeming. _Nervous_." He said little traces of smugness in his voice at the end.

That snapped me once again out of my thoughts and I crossed my arms automatically. "No." I said harshly.

He let out a laugh, holding his hands up in false surrender. "Okay. Okay"

"S-" He started to say but we were both interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Hey." Kaylani said, popping up. I hadn't seen her until now, but then realized her and the rest of the family was just making their way in, being greeted by my grandmother.

I unthinkingly shifted closer to Paul once I saw Joshua; his face seemed to be engulfed in bandages. He looked like he was on a great amount of pain killers too.

Paul shifted uncomfortably too, but not away from Josh. It was Kaylani.

"Hey, Paul I haven't seen you in a while, or even heard from you." Her voice was seeping with anger, but she seemed to keep a straight face.

Then she started to twirl her hair with her finger, "I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation."

She wait for him to reply but he just looked like, well, a kid who doesn't want to deal with homework.

"Yea, there is. I didn't want to see you." He said, blatantly and I was just confused as if they were speaking a different language. Until I realized, Kaylani was one of Paul's toys. Just a girl, he could be done with. That also dampened my reasoning on theory three.

I was deciding whether to stay because I really didn't want to be alone with Joshua so close. He must be pretty mad, and hell who know what he could do.

But then again, I really didn't want to be around this Kay/Paul drama. They were saying things, that I really rather tune out. So I was glad when Uncle Jay came up to me.

"Is that my little niece, It can't be! Look who's all grown up!" He smiled, giving me a big hug.

I sat there as he welcomed me back to La push, having a small conversation in second language. Someone called Uncle Jay over with a laugh, and he patted my head and left.

I turned to my right, and just like she had popping in Kaylani had completely disappeared.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" Paul asked quietly, sounding a bit annoyed. Whatever talk they had must have been pretty irritating.

I would have said hell no, but I turned to see Joshua glaring at me and Paul, accompanied by Kaylani, and for some reason she was glaring at _me _too. She was looking at me like I was the one who had just broken up with her.

"Sure." I said quickly. Half cowered into his side as we made our way out of the back yard, through the front yard and to the sidewalk.

I turned to look at him and he smiled. The little hint of innocence in the smile was too cute. Holy shit, did I just think that? And Paul was never innocent or cute. Infact if anyone that I had gone to school with heard that would have called my lots of immature names followed by 'Paul is one sexy fuck'. They called him a manwhore and said he was no good, but for some reason they all ended up sleeping with him.

My thoughts reminded me of the dreams, and I found myself leaning away.

Then his smile faded, and I felt bad for some reason. Not that I should, a frown would be just a little molecule of what I should be making him feel.

We walked in silence, I kicked a little stone down the path trying to get rid of all my anxious feelings. Paul seemed like he was concentrating on something.

"I know you don't want to be around me. And It's hard trying to make it right, earning your forgiveness." He said, his eyes taking on the emotion of anger, his face twisting into what it usually was. Angry. Then it faded in to somewhat sad.

"I'm trying, Neoma. I really am." He said, grabbing my arm, forcing me to stop. I tugged away but knew it was no use, Paul could stop a car from driving off if he wanted to.

"Paul, _why are you trying_? Why bother with the girl you hate. The girl that was so pathetic you felt the need to torture her. Because honestly I'm trying to understand, What made you wake up and feel bad or want to make it right." My voice grew angry. The beach was still a pretty long walk from here.

"I don't hate you. A- And I don't know I just know I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all those things I've done. I'm s-sorry for making you have to leave La Push. Please, I'm so sorry. I feel guilty all the time." He looked away clenching his fist as if he was in physical pain.

Well, What do you say to that? Words seemed to forget how to use my mouth to form any rational sentences.

It was like being shot with little toothpicks of realization, that Paul did infact need forgiveness. The overall fear of being played was still there, don't get me wrong. I wasn't easily convinced. But I wasn't extremely stubborn. Paul's pain seemed to be genuine.

But Where did that leave me though? Either to look stupid if I believed him and it turned out to be some stupid joke. Or to be a cold hearted bitch with my rejection to what seemed to be a real honest apology.

"Say something, Neoma." Paul whispered angrily.

I couldn't think, all this drama was unnecessary.

"Look, let's make a deal. I'll stay away from you and you stay away from me." This wasn't working, and I literally had no idea how to handle this. Not like I've been in a situation like this before.

He shook his head. "I don't like that deal." I could see a little smug smile pulling at corner of his lip but he was still angry.

I looked away "Well, you're making everything so confusing." The acid in my tone was unexpected. I didn't like being put in a confusing situation.

He laughed, short and irritated. It was like we both were stuck between emotions, Paul being angry and sad (or delusion) and me being confused and angry.

I was about to say something, rude and sarcastic .Which would have probably came out wrong or made me look stupid, but he put his finger over my lips. "Look I knew it was going to take a lot for you to forgive me. And I'm not going to stop until you forgive me. Just give me a chance to make it up to you?" He pleaded. Another thing for a list of things that Paul never did.

He never pleaded. He got what he wanted whether I or anybody like it or not.

"I-I-" My lower lip trembled.

"Neoma I'm really, really sorry for everything I did. I know those are just words but I just can't tell you how sorry I am. " He looked at me with those warm eyes again, It reminded me so much of something but I couldn't put my finger on it. The annoying part is that I felt it was so obvious but my mind wasn't letting me remember.

I just nodded dumbfounded. "I- okay." My head sunk a bit.

"Okay, what?" He asked.

"I'll give you a chance." I mumbled.

Just when I thought the list of things Paul never does. He looks nervous. " Wha- really?"

"Yea.." I said quietly, unsure of the direction I was heading in.

"and you're not going to all the sudden kick my balls and tell me you could never forgive me." He let out a little laugh.

The idea of kicking Paul in his junk, having him hunched over in pain was indeed something to laugh about.

"no ball kicking, unless you piss me off." I laughed a little then cut it off, because Paul never made me laugh. The only things I did were being furious or crying around him.

It was like being able to breath underwater. Sure, if you could you would be able to breathe, because I was able to laugh and joke with Paul. But I'd imagine breathing under water would feel uncomfortable, weird, and unnatural. Which is exactly what joking and laughing felt like with Paul.

A howl in the woods, made me jump then smile. I wondered if Wolfboy was close. God, I felt so ridiculous just thinking the name.

Paul stiffened, and for a second I thought it was because he was scared. I would have laughed at the thought of Paul being scared, because I've never even seen him close to that expression in my life.

But he looked annoyed, then he calmed down and shook his head like he snapped out of a deep thought.

"I forgot to do something.. umm I'll pick you up around 4 tomorrow? So we can hang out." He said running off like a mad man.

He didn't even wait for me to reply.

Just dashed off.

Just like that.

I would have been angry if I wasn't so shocked.

* * *

Everyone seemed to be chatting away as the party went on. Paul had left along with the council volunteers so I could only guess it was an emergency of some sort.

Kaylani was still here, and every now and then would send me glares. Joshua, was pretty much about to sleep on a bench. The pain killers must have knocked him out, and I was glad. Him being awake would be so much more nerve wrecking.

A bunch of relatives and family friends were still greeting me. Most of them I haven't seen in my life, or don't remember that is.

I thanked the spirits when the food was finished, I successfully avoided getting dumped with a smelly plate of sea food.

The party really died down one the sun started setting. Not that anyone left, but everyone seemed to calmer.

I had trouble keeping my eyes open, as I sat on a chair. Mostly because I hadn't gotten a good sleep, secondly because Uncle Jay was telling one of his stories again. The ones that I had been told since I was little.

By the time people started leaving I was going to crash, the darkness of the outside and the twinkling stars seemed to be sending of rays of sleep onto me.

I can't really remember if I fell asleep, but someone most probably a bratty little kid. Which if they weren't asleep by now, they were like on some kind of hyperactive drug they had in there system that was acknowledged when they were tired. All I really saw was a little kid dashing off the other way.

I sighed, hoping it was only water and nothing sticky like soda. Forgetting that there were still people here, and not really caring if it was impolite. I fled to my room, and prayed no kids got messed with anything.

I crashed on to my bed. The blankets and pillows seemed to submerge me in there warmth.

* * *

_His hands twisted around my neck making it hard to breath, the little ray of light I could see only showed the face of my attacker, which again was Paul. _

_Then his hands loosing, leaving me gasping and panting._

_His hands move slowly down my neck, down my sides. I couldn't move. I couldn't even look away from Paul. My body would not let me do anything except watch him and like it._

_Just like a clip of a movie the scence changed and we were outside, in the forest. My back was pressed to something and I was panting, so was Paul._

_Oh god, Paul was shirtless. I smiled as I realized he was also pantsless and I had no more clothes on than he did. Our bodies intertwined in such a different way, I had never felt like this before. _

_" You like it." He growled sexually._

_"I love it." I replied, and he kissed my lips viciously attacking every inch of the soft skin I had._

_"Good." He said, and I braced myself, for I knew what would be coming next._

* * *

"NO!" I jerked up screaming, half falling out of bed.

I groaned when I looked at the clock that read 2:00 am.

The dream had been so real, so very disturbingly real.

* * *

**.  
**

**A/N: Sorry for such the long wait, hope I can get the next one up faster. School started so I've been busy. Thank you all who have favorited, reviewed, & alerted.**

_***& To everyone reading my story "Abandonment", I know you probably hate me for not updating that one too, but I've had writers block on that. Message me ideas (I'll give you credit) it would be helpful and thank you for bearing with me on it.***_

**Can I get 15 reviews for this chapter? :)**


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